Friday, October 28, 2005
Moods
I guess I just have been in a shitty negative mood lately. I think it has something to do with a lack of meetings. When I go to at least three meetings a week I feel a lot better. For the last couple weeks I have been attending two meetings a week. I have commitments in and outside the program, which keep my time well occupied. On top of it I have my kids who use to not want to come near me and now I can't get rid of them. My wife and I have been getting along better but we still need work to harder. I was thinking about going down on early Saturday mornings to talk with people in detox at the rehab center I went to. I was asked by one of the head counselors to do this a couple months ago, but I had another personal commitment at the time. I feel more grounded and confident in my program , enough so that I can start carrying the message more in my life. It wasn't long ago I had absolutely no trust in AA. When I was 12 years old my Dad went and picked up his year chip, I made a drink for him for the ride. We celebrated at the Playboy Club where he was drunk on the dance floor french kissing another woman while I watched with my mom and brother and sisters. As the years passed the same pattern continued, so therefore to me AA was a social club. He still drinks, but doesn't pick up chips.
Wow, there are such unfortunates they are not at fault. I can totally understand your mistrust of AA
ReplyDeleteI understand too.
ReplyDeleteI always remember that AA is not for those who need it or necessarily those who even want it, but for those who are willing to do it.