coffee bitch

BABE IN BOOTS

2012-01-17T16:12:00.000-08:00

The gift of sobriety allows me to love a woman unconditionally, plus she has boots. So if these boots are meant for walking then they can walk all over me. Sober and in Love, WOW its a beautiful thing. And she is HOT.

Woman I Love

2011-11-16T22:36:00.001-08:00

I am still sober now 7.5 years and closing on 8 by living one day at a time. There is a woman I have been going out with that has freed my soul. She is like a mirror image of me in many ways. My sponsor and others have made comments about how I now have a glow. I am happy now and it’s great to be sober so that I can take all this in.. pretty cool..

Here but Where

2010-06-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

I have 6 years now and my B date is May 17th. I feel good just beat from trying to get two companies off the ground. I hit meetings every week so that hasn't changed and I am still calling my sponsor everyday.. Wow a lot of phone calls over the 6 years. Thanks Garner I saw your email and broke away from my chaotic life for a second.. I will keep in touch my bros and sistas..

Meeting

2010-04-11T23:12:00.001-07:00

I use to drink out of any type of bottle. I preferred the larger ones though.

Went to a meeting tonight and there was a lot of new faces and some not. One person had gone out after having 10 years to try it once more. Same results and the same story as everyone else who goes out, it just doesn't work.

Where the Hell have I been

2010-04-10T01:01:00.000-07:00

Wow I am coming up on 6 years and I have been working my ass off trying to get 2 company's off the ground. I have been tempted to drink but just not today. I am trying to get back to blogging, TIME. Hitting meetings and calling my sponsor everyday is what I do.

I really don't have the desire to drink nor the energy. I am to tired to go chasing that anymore. Looking back it is hard to believe all the hiding and running around I did for WHAT? I like waking up with a clear head every morning, its a good thing.

HERE

2010-01-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

I am watching of all shows celebrity rehab. Some seem real others I am not sure of. When I was drinking and using I was a celebrity too. So I thought...

Man this working on your own thing is for the birds because I feel like I am working for free. Well I am for now.

Bible Study

2009-12-07T23:33:00.000-08:00

Bible study is the other thing I am doing that I typically wouldn't do if it was left up to me. However I take direction from my sponsor and I am glad that I do because my spiritual side needs help.

The photo is of my boys and I thank god for them. They are a gift.

XMAS PARTY

2009-12-06T09:10:00.001-08:00

Let me rephrase that sometimes at the party's people sit in corners and it is not fun. However last night was great and on top of it there were 4 birthdays. It was a lot of laughs and for a guy like me laughter is good.

Look for me there are thousands of reasons on why not to go to a meeting or party. I just need to go because when I do my expectations are never correct and I end up enjoying the meeting or party.

HOME GROUP X-MAS PARTY

2009-12-05T12:22:00.001-08:00

AA Christmas party tonight and I am going alone. It will be fun however I can not stay to long. They say we are not a glum lot, but a lot of times these type of party's are boring and clickish.

WOW STUMBLED HERE

2009-12-04T00:20:00.000-08:00

I am doing good hit a meeting last night. I still find it easy to get a resentment. Some people came in last night late and walked right in front of the person speaking. I was pissed and didn't hear the rest of the meeting.

I miss blogging but right now I have 3 jobs. One company I own, one company I have equity in and the other I am consultant in sort of.. = 0 hours in the day.

FLOATING SOBER

2009-11-16T23:17:00.000-08:00

Wow I have been busting ass on my new company and hitting meetings and a bible study class. I am doing the things I don't want to do, it helps keep me sober.

I have seen a lot of people die in 5 1/2 years and that is what the reality is for me if I decide to have a drink. I need to blog more because it helps me keep it real.

clean living

2009-09-13T20:32:00.001-07:00

Simple clean living just like that

Watching the kids while the wife is at a funeral in NY.

alone

2009-09-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

When I am feeling alone I go to a meeting. It is the place were I can feel some comfort.

My son's soccer game always makes me feel good. I like to see him running around and enjoying himself. They tied one game and lost a game to a team that is in a higher level. It is all cool though.

HOT

2009-08-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

Wow it is so hot here in Southern California. My son's soccer game yesterday was played when the temperature was 105 degrees. They were all almost collapsing from the heat by the end of the game. We lost too which made it feel hotter.

I helped clean the house yesterday as well as organize it and I feel better. It is amazing to me that I can feel so much better being organized. Organization is part of my program believe it or not.

HERE

2009-08-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

Hey thanks Scot for the comment.I have been busting my ass on my new company and it is a virtual time sucker. I have not wavered in my program. I love this picture because it is what the reality is if I try to stay sober alone.

My son has a soccer game today and I am excited. I love to watch him play because he enjoys it so much. The other 2 were playing football and due to a scandal evolving a couple coaches the season wont happen for them as well as the other kids. The coaches have big egos and decided to hold practices early despite league rules. These coaches are assholes and the odds are they really never played high school or college football.

I need to stay with the blogging because writing this somehow made me feel good.

wow

2009-07-19T14:28:00.000-07:00

Life has been in session with me lately. I have been busy setting up a new company and trying to keep my marriage and program together. I am lacking in both areas and feeling like I can not do it all.

love and tolerance

2009-06-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

Wow love and tolerance is what I need to remember at meetings. It is easy for me to get a resentment.

Life is crazy my deadline is coming for my website so I am pushing as hard as I can to make the date.

Pod

2009-06-05T23:54:00.000-07:00

I was pissed off at my oldest because I thought he took my Ipod. I was acting like the old behavior which was not good. I have to watch myself because I am quick to judge and 95% of the time I am wrong.

The boys have their soccer games tomorrow and pop warner football is starting soon. Running back and forth all Saturday is getting old quick.

GOD HELP

2009-05-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

This website is driving me nuts. There is some much to do and I am even having problems picking colors aaahhh. I need to move on so I sent it to some of my designer friends. The more I can deligate the better I will be. Some things need to go to god other things need to go to people who know what they are doing.

I need to go to a meeting today or tomorrow..

scarletts

2009-05-25T23:04:00.000-07:00

Wow there is something about silent films!!

We went to a party today at some friends house. There where 5 couples there and they were all drinking. Man its hard when it was a hot day and you have to watch your friends drink ice cold beer. I was bumming a little bit but I soon got over it because I went home.

peter pan is real

2009-05-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

I thought Peter Pan was made of only fairy tales. Peter Pans Blog

I went to my meeting tonight and it was just ok. I was just there in body and sometimes that has got to be good enough. I have to much shit going on in my mind.

F the hard drive

2009-05-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

The hard drive will cost $1689.00, so screw that I will deal with the missing data somehow some way. I still have some work re-doing multiple spreadsheets, but again whatever. I need to move on. This kind of shit is what I would drink about.

I want to go to the beach tomorrow but the townies will be packing it because of the holiday. So maybe I will be hanging out at the house.

Fruits

2009-05-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to eat healthier. I really believe that a healthy body creates a healthy mind. It all about eat good feel good.

I am picking up hopefully my recovered data this morning.

5 years

2009-05-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

Well I have 5 years of sobriety which is truly amazing. I did it by not drinking or using one day at a time. I have a lot of fears now in my life but I am working through them by praying and going to meetings.

I am trying to get this new biz off the ground and it has been hard. My hard drive crashed and it sucks. I have to pay a shit load of money to get the data recovered.. Back up back up..

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

2009-05-10T09:43:00.000-07:00

So Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers peeps out there.. This is a big day for all the mothers, I went out and got a bialy for my wife its a NY thing. They are hard to find in southern California.

I have to clean the house today because that's what the wife wants for MD. Having three boys makes cleaning the house a big chore.

STILL SOBER

2009-05-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

Easter sucked I resigned from my job. I could not take the boss any more, because he is an a-hole. So I am busting my ass trying to get my new company off the ground and it is taking way longer than I thought. I have been working insane hours trying to cut the timeline down. I have been praying for god's intervention.

My boys are doing really good and the spring sports are sucking up time from me, but time with them is golden. They are all I have in this world.

virus

2009-03-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

I have this virus chasing my ass around for several days. I have a big meeting this Friday and I have to be at the top of my game. So I need to shake this virus.

No drama today so I am cool.

yard work

2009-03-29T00:46:00.000-07:00

Well I completed my tasks today in the yard and didn't end up drinking over it. I had to re-seed in areas because of my female lab that likes to pee on each square foot of grass. She is a fat lazy dog but she stayed with me while I was drinking. She actually caught most of my verbal abuse because she she couldn't talk back. That was only sometimes because I swear she talked after a couple bottles of crown royal.

I am getting ready to go to bed because I have been staying up way to late.

if i drink

2009-03-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

If I decide to pick up that first bottle it wont end till I am at the toilet passed out. There will also be several empty bottles near by. Even though the BB says pick up the first drink that 1st drink doesn't have to be from a glass.

I am cleaning the house today per my wife's instructions as well as fixing up the back yard by planting flowers and seeding the grass. Doing chores like these keep me out of my head till a meeting.

working on a name

2009-03-26T22:31:00.000-07:00

I am working on a name for my company "green company". I am hoping to make a change in my life as well as to change the way we use materials.

I am still with the little man but I am getting ready to make my break. He has been a bitch to me. He has cut off my company credit card while I am traveling leaving me to pick up the expenses. I can't afford to do this again. I have been going to meetings and praying so that is good.

meeting

2009-03-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

I went to a meeting tonight and that was good because I needed it badly. I have a lot going on in my life and I need to be prepared to face my fears. The only steps I know how to take in fighting my fears are through AA and God.. Wow it is that simple..

GOOD + Friendly Iran?

2009-03-15T00:11:00.000-07:00

Iran: the friendliest people in the world Beaming smiles, gel and a joke about lavatory brushes and weapons of mass destruction - Iran overturns all expectations

I am doing ok... just waiting for Monday to be over. That is the day when everything will get nasty between me and my boss. Meetings and Praying are all I can do for now. I am really thankful for GOD and AA, because the alternative would be so much worse.

fear is back

2009-03-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

I have been battling my boss for my job and it has been a nightmare. I was slapped on 100% commish and that is not good when you have a family. So I have been scrambling trying get my new project up and running.

I have been praying hard and keeping one foot in front of the other.

2:00 AM

2009-02-28T01:58:00.000-08:00

Wow I am working my ass off and hopefully the pay day will be soon. I think there are a lot of cool ideas that I will be bringing market. This is the happest I have been in many years. We have no money, but thats ok.

head hurts

2009-02-26T17:08:00.000-08:00

What is going on with me is that I am going nuts with lack of sleep. I am trying to get my green company up and rolling as well as working out an exit strategy with the company I am working for now. The company that I am working for are a bunch of pricks and a midget for the boss. I was the doormat that the big book warns about not being. I have changed and became stronger and I wont lay down anymore.

My boss is just a few inches taller than the cowboys in the video. Jack in The box commercial

Men Vs Women

2009-02-21T00:49:00.000-08:00

men vs women differences

We had my wife's birthday party tonight and of course our friend with the 2 1/2' vodka bottle was here tonight. She has almost finished it and as she left I told her she should chug it. She looked at me strange because she knows my story well. They couldn't keep up to me when I was drinking. The others were drunk too and laughing at shit I had no clue what about.

The alcohol around me with our friends does not bother me because they are normal and drink only once in a while. Plus I like to fuck with them. I think the only way I will drink again is if I hijack a Heineken truck and drive it into the desert were I could be alone to enjoy my cargo.

edge

2009-02-17T00:07:00.000-08:00

I am going to be happy about when I blog about being free of the little man. I need to be free soon.

FEAR

2009-02-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

I am feeling good about the desire to drink has left me for today. It like is to take me out at my weak times.

The economic times plays havoc with my sobriety and this is all just a result of fear. That's why in the 3rd step you need to give all this over to someone and that person is GOD. I have been in the program for almost 5 years and I still take these problems back from god, because at the time I believe I am the one that needs to take care of it.

I think it is from the lack of my faith with god. He has let me down in the past so I don't want to put to much on his plate because it may not get done to my satisfaction. This is work in progress and takes time but as long as keep praying and going to meeting, there will come a time when I give my fears to god and never take them back.

Happy Valentines Day

2009-02-14T09:37:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES PEEPS. Stay sober through this day of love.

I love surreal art and this guy is one of the ultimate artists. I use to paint a lot when I was drinking but I haven't picked up a brush since I have been sober. Surrealist Artist Ladis Lavguderna.

Addict

2009-02-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid I did drugs and shop lifted. They go hand in hand. Your stealing your soul by doing drugs so stealing from others becomes inconsequential. I never went to jail, which is a good thing.

I had a pretty good day hitting the streets in Los Angeles. I have been trying to get my green stuff off the ground and it is well received. I just need orders please..

dead sober

2009-02-11T22:57:00.000-08:00

I have been talking with a guy in the program who has a great life with kids and a good wife yet he wants to throw it all away on drinking. It is the same story and it is truly sad. The person reasoning is fear of the uncertainty. I told the person that life is full of uncertainty and the only thing I can do for certain is not to drink today.

resentment

2009-02-11T00:45:00.001-08:00

I have been riding a storm of resentments toward by boss. I know he is an asshole however I am not going to drink over his sorry ass. So I need to pass it on to my higher power.. right! Its a bitch though because I want to take it back so bad.

Once I can get out of this financial insecurity I am going to take a long vacation.

drunk bastard

2009-02-09T23:41:00.000-08:00

When I was drinking I had a lot of fun times, but these times quickly ended as I drank more. The day finally came when I was drinking alone everyday and my world became darker.

I went to bible study tonight and it felt great. The closer I get to god my world becomes a more manageable place. I am not all the way there yet with god, so when I feel the connection its special.

funny

2009-02-07T23:34:00.000-08:00

I need laughter in my life because it helps take away pain.

parents

2009-02-07T01:20:00.000-08:00

This little girl will be in AA in her time.

crank down

2009-02-07T00:46:00.000-08:00

I think one more turn from my boss on my patience is all I have left. I am doing my best to bite my tongue however his condescending attitude is enough to push me over the edge.

My wife and kids went over to a freinds house. I was left alone at home so I decided to play city of heros until they came home. It is a great computer game to waste time and to keep me out of your head. A meeting would have been better but I am tired.

fuck little man

2009-02-06T00:30:00.000-08:00

My resentments torwards my boss are pileing up on a daily basis. He has found things to screw with me on and I am ready to knock his head.

I need to give him less power over me in my life and give some back to god.

sobra

2009-02-04T22:27:00.000-08:00

I am flying on a sober high at least for today. I have made it through the storm and I haven't had a drink.

The president of our company is truly an evil man, he has screwed me out of money time after time but it is my fault for working for him. I fear change and when it finds me I want to drink . I have been praying for unclouded thoughts with a clear direction.

JOB

2009-02-01T00:54:00.000-08:00

Falling Times is an everlasting and growing real-time news translation machine .

I have been in the dumps because my crooked boss put me on 100% commission and that sucks. I have 3 boys and a wife to feed. He is an asshole but its my fault for working for a crook.

Rush Limbaugh

2009-01-31T10:57:00.000-08:00

Under the make up Rush Limbaugh shows signs of years of drug abuse. He is a addict looking for a fix. If he stayed off the pills long enough maybe he would have clear thoughts not irrational. He truly lives in his own wacky world.

Super Bowl Ad Ban

2009-01-30T00:06:00.001-08:00

I swear I love Peta. I am ok same old shit though.

green toliet paper rolls

2009-01-26T23:48:00.000-08:00

Wow this is a cool photo. Its for recycling toilet paper rolls. I have been into the recycling culture for several years now. Being in that environment makes makes me feel passion again.

Back at fighting with the wife and I am getting tired of opening my fat mouth. I am the ultimate button pusher and I need to stop.

sports

2009-01-25T07:46:00.000-08:00

Well the boys are sitting out on baseball this season. It was their decisions so that makes it final. My hopes for a baseball star in my family is fading. 2 boys want to play football and 1 wants to play soccer.

I was pushed into baseball and football as a kid and I ended up hating both sports. I played it in high school but it wasn't out the love for the sport. I ended up taking it out on the field which had a good result but my heart wasn't there mainly for football.

I am letting my boys make their own decisions on what they want to do in sports and then I will be behind them 100%.

Thanks Daave for getting my emotions running this morning.. lol

obama

2009-01-24T19:04:00.001-08:00

Obama rocks and I am glad he is president. GW can go hide in his bunker now. I am feeling pretty good today. Last night I went to a jazz bar with my wife and friends and we had a cool time. I was the only sober one but that was ok because I had a lot of fun. You know living sober is the only way I can survive in this world and it requires God and meetings.

see you bitch

2009-01-23T00:11:00.000-08:00

Bush needs to be charged for war crimes.

I am working my ass off and I am seeing results. This is a good thing.

ok

2009-01-18T07:52:00.000-08:00

I am ok. I was just keeping in my head to long. I am out now going to meetings talking to program people and everything is back to where I need to be.

meeting

2009-01-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

I feel as if all my thoughts are spinning in my head. I have soooo much shit going on. I talked with a couple program people tonight in an effort to gather my thoughts. All I heard was meeting, meeting and meeting.

simple

2009-01-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

All the new designs seem more simplistic. One thing that hasn't changed in AA is keeping it simple. A couple guys in my group went out and the results were no differnt. They have been keeping this thing called soberity not sacred. I am going with another brother to take one of them to the airport. We are flying him to a treatment center since all have been exhausted here.

one drink + one alcholic = death

stars

2009-01-06T22:56:00.000-08:00

When I was drinking I never looked up to the see the stars. I always looked down to see how many beers I had left.

My mother in law is still here and so is my sanity, so I guess everything is ok today.

hope

2009-01-06T00:19:00.000-08:00

I want the good days back. The job uncertainty is killing me.

My mother in law is still here and she is snoring right now. I can hear her from across the house. I am going to try to get some sleep.

blogger

2009-01-03T19:37:00.000-08:00

I am wondering if by blogging you lose weight. This guy apparently has lost weight from blogging.

My wifes new brakes cost me $403.00 today from PEP Boys. This sucked because we are tight on the money because the Christmas bills are coming.

future of me

2009-01-02T17:02:00.000-08:00

The future is now and my deal is that without AA and god I have no future.

I am working on some future products that are truly green but without support it makes things difficult. I swear I beating my head against the wall and I just can't give up.

My Mother in law is in town and she drives me nuts. She is one of those people who know everything and talk over you. I would like to box her up and send her to an island with no inhabitants. So she can only talk to herself.

2009

2008-12-31T23:27:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year.. We had our party tonight and again I am sober for another year. One of our friends brought over the biggest bottle of Vodka I had ever seen. They also took it with them when they left. Some people had a lot to drink but it did not bother me. I am to tired to chase it anymore, at least for today. They all know I am program boy.

My boy is ok and with stitches, boys are boys.

emergency room

2008-12-29T23:13:00.000-08:00

7 year old + 9 year old = Children's Hospital. The formula is correct again as I am heading out the door to take the 7 years old in for about 6 stitches. see you tomorrow,

painting

2008-12-27T23:01:00.000-08:00

I spent all day painting my sons room as a bottom of the sea theme. I am a perfectionist so painting seeems to take me longer than your avererage joe. He seems very happy on the results so far.

We are getting the house ready for our New Years Eve party. I am doing touch up painting and cleaning. At our party there will be minimal drinking in my house and that is my rules.

12:00 pm drinker

2008-12-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

Well my sister is at the 12:00 pm drinking a couple beers phase. She is not far from crossing the line into a morning drinker like me. This was the worst message I got this holiday season. I plan on talking to her later today but as we all know there is not much I can do but pray. After I post this I am calling my sponsor.

What a Trip

2008-12-25T21:24:00.000-08:00

Adam Kimmel presents: Claremont HD from adam kimmel on Vimeo.

These guys are so fucked up..

2008 gone

2008-12-25T17:45:00.000-08:00

As 2008 becomes part of the past I am hoping that 2009 will be another stepping stone in my sobriety. All I can do to insure this is to live a day at a time.

The kids seemed happy however we are getting pounded by rain. They were hoping to play outside with their new toys but its a day of video games which is ok. I am tired from staying up late playing Santa and getting up early being a dad.

santa

2008-12-25T00:02:00.000-08:00

I went to my office tonight to pick up my 7 year old's bike and two drunk homeless guys were in front of my office door asleep. I stepped over them as they were snoring passed out and unlocked my office. I went into my office picked up the bike came back out and locked the door. I stood over them and the smell of alcohol was strong. I felt sad for them because they were missing so much in life.

I am lucky that I get to spend Christmas in a warm house with people who love me.

Happy Holidays

2008-12-24T19:02:00.000-08:00

Have a great Holiday PEEPS

god

2008-12-24T01:06:00.000-08:00

he is in my soberiety more than ever.

4 th step?

2008-12-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

12 Step Program / Step 4 from Creature on Vimeo.

This video is so weird. I think there is a need for a new sponsor.

I am at work and I need to need to get home, because the phones are dead. Also I need to do a little Christmas Shopping.

two o'clock

2008-12-21T01:45:00.000-08:00

Well I just finished one of the two sites that I am building. I can't believe it is so late. I have been at it for most of the day. Workaholic might be a good description for me. This doesn't apply to everything because in somethings I am a slacker.

I did take breaks today and threw the football with my boys.

surfing

2008-12-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

We shall see what the waves look like tomorrow, but I am going out with my son. I need to do something with my boys.

Man I hate shopping. I need to go this weekend and get my wife something for Christmas. I am sooo excited.

cool

2008-12-18T23:01:00.000-08:00

I am working on a large project in LA and if all goes well I should be OK for next year. I am optimistic about the economy because its out of my control. God knows I would drink over anything good or bad. I remember watching the news and drinking a lot. Now sober I maybe watch it once a week.

I am feeling good today and watching a movie with my oldest boy. How cool is that.

another gig

2008-12-18T00:02:00.000-08:00

Well I am setting the path or should I say god is setting the path for my new adventure. That is, I am working 2 jobs basically. I am helping to build an environmental company get off the ground and that is where my heart is at now.

Thing are better at home because my wife and I have not fought in the last day or so. She is a New Yorker and I am a Californian so go figure.

hope

2008-12-15T22:11:00.000-08:00

The committee is in and I need a meeting. I have been doing everything right I think. So whats the problem then, maybe its HALT.

Holidays

2008-12-14T23:40:00.000-08:00

I went to my meeting tonight and it was cold for Southern California 46 degrees. The common theme was you only have today and boy was it true. There were people at the meeting who just recently lost everything wife, kids and job because of drinking again. It makes me really feel lucky today to be sober.

The battle front with the wife increased today but I finally backed off. I forget that I am a master of pushing peoples buttons. Its old behavior and nothing good comes from pushing peoples buttons.

DWI

2008-12-13T23:48:00.000-08:00

We went to my sons football party and pretty much everyone was drinking. I was a little pissed because everyone started to get drunk and the egos where flying high. At the end of the night the coach told everyone that there was a DWI check point down the street. Then he gave alternate directions to avoid the checkpoint. OMG...

Tomorrow I have a lot of work to do because I am trying get really organized. Keeping organized helps me keep sober.

here

2008-12-13T00:10:00.000-08:00

Well I got into a fight with my wife today. It sucks because as usual I opened my mouth..

Drinkers

2008-12-11T22:54:00.000-08:00

We have a neighborhood Christmas party coming up and there are some heavy drinkers that attend. They aren't as heavy as I was, but it makes me uncomfortable. So I will say I and bye to those people at the party.

I am looking forward to the holidays to catch up on my sleep.

Train

2008-12-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

My fourth and fifth step are done.. I am just glad I moved beyond these steps. They have been a hard one for me because I could forgive myself and my father.

Free Today

2008-12-07T07:08:00.000-08:00

I am free today of the bondage of alcoholism. But I can screw that up if I decide to take back my control from GOD.

Since I have been out of town all week my wife has elected that today will be the day to put up all the Christmas decorations. So my task is to get down all the boxes and put the outside lights up. I am not to excited about this because I was hoping to kick back today and watch the football games. However it's not all about me today.

just dont drink

2008-12-06T08:54:00.000-08:00

Wow I made it through this conference full on drunk bastards and I didn't drink. This is a conference that I attend every year and it is full of hardest drinkers. The economy helped fuel more drinking for these people.

So I guess I am a winner today.

no 4th

2008-12-02T22:56:00.000-08:00

My Sponsor is sick so not doing the deal today and that sucked. I am heading to phoenix in the morning for a 3 day conference and these drinkers are hardcore. So I am just going to try not to drink each day.

I will be ok as a girl on a white horse doesn't coming riding up..

Steps

2008-12-01T20:51:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow at 4:00pm my 4th and 5th step will be given to my sponsor. I am dreading feeling all this shit again. I have burried all this for so long. I am fearful of being free from the things that eat me daily.

meetings

2008-11-30T22:15:00.000-08:00

I am still fighting with some 4th step issues and I need to work through them. I just haven't put the stick down and I have 4 years of sobriety. I hope that I can do it soon.

I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I need a few more days however I will be in the grind this week.

step work

2008-11-29T14:07:00.000-08:00

Still at it today and I don't seem to have a lot of amends.

4th Step

2008-11-28T22:33:00.000-08:00

I am working on the 4Th step tonight and tomorrow. I need to finish up by tomorrow. I need to make it easier at least with not all these spreadsheets via internet. The best way is to stay with what the big book says and not use all theses internet spreadsheets. It is leading me to frustration.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2008-11-27T07:54:00.000-08:00

I am going to give up smoking soon.

Have a sober Thanksgiving all.

Mumbai

2008-11-26T13:13:00.000-08:00

Mumbai terror attack

Hopefully there is an end to these terror attacks but its doubtful.

Took off early today from work and I am going to hang with the boys and my wife. So that is a good day for me.

head hurts

2008-11-26T00:13:00.000-08:00

Man my head has been hurting lately. Lack of sleep and expectations seem to be running my life. I guess people are not of the same page as me so it gets frustrating.

The boys are doing good and driving to insanity. There constant fighting and name calling is enough to get me back on the bottle. They have been attacking me with wresling, kung fu and street brawl moves lately as some age development thing.

mexicans

2008-11-24T23:26:00.000-08:00

If this all a result of the Mayan calender coming to an end in 2012. What a trip that would the damn Mexicans had the clue all along.

no game

2008-11-23T11:39:00.000-08:00

My son's birthday was yesterday and it was a good time. Today one of the kid's fathers that attended the party invited me and my son to the football game tonight. I have to go to my meeting tonight so I said no. My wife is pissed off at me, but I missed last weeks meeting and I cant miss tonight. I guess its my fault.

in the ass

2008-11-22T22:10:00.000-08:00

You know sometimes it feels like your getting it in the ass. My boss made me sign this bullshit contract that screws me out of money. He uses fear tactics to help get what he wants.

Step working I am trying to finish step 4 by the 28th of November.

Hot Doll

2008-11-20T23:48:00.000-08:00

Holy shit maybe my dog will stay off my neighbors legs. This a great idea for the animals to release stress.

unscathedcorpse via

I am doing ok today and thats good. I need laughter it helps me feel better.

addiction

2008-11-18T23:26:00.000-08:00

I hate clowns so I am not worried about that addiction.

I am feeling better because I talked to several guys in the program. It blows me away how you feel at home when your with people who think and share in addiction. We have all lost everything, someone or even almost our life. That bonds us together.

cleansed

2008-11-17T22:52:00.000-08:00

I went to bible study again tonight and I felt cleansed when I left. It is not your typical because it is made up of cynical alcoholics and a preacher. It is like the misfits looking for god, but he is there and that is cool.

The spiritual part of this program is big and without it I will be drunk. Its the balance of the spirituality + meetings + helping other alcoholics = serenity. I really needed the spiritual part of the equation today.

no meeting

2008-11-16T22:40:00.001-08:00

I ended up not going to the meeting tonight and elected to go to dinner with my family. I don't know if I am burned out or just on my way to the next drink. I am getting tired of the same people and same bullshit stories. I just pray to god that he gives me some direction.

different

2008-11-15T22:52:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about how it sucks to never be able to drink again. It is when it gets towards the holidays I feel like this. I need to remember that I drank for over 25 years of my life. So now I need to live the rest sober.

My son had his all-star games today and they came in second. I am a lucky man.