Naaked Thursaday

Naaked Thursday

This is the sign posted on my street.

George What The Fuck

There is something about that ring George W. wears that ties into this picture. It is the Masonic thing, the Sesame Street secret society thing, the Oil for more money thing, and the love triangle thing with Osama. I'll fiqure it out.

Did Bill W. read this?

I think since I have had it both ways, I prefer the not and so does everyone else around me.

The Ability to Drink More

This was designed by an alcoholic with one intention.

Lunch with a Priest

I had lunch today with a priest and I felt weird. He likes to dress in black with his collar typical priest attire and that didn't bother me. People were staring as if I was in trouble or someone was sick or died in my family. We talked about family and how everything is differnt in my life. I never knew him while I was drinking, even though he lives 6 doors down from me.He was walking by my house a couple days after I was in the Rehab center and spoke to my wife. She was just sitting in the driveway with her head in her hands, he asked her what was wrong. She told him the whole story and he wanted to visit me at the rehab center, but I refused. After 32 1/2 days later (4 for detox) I was out and scared as hell. He was one of the first to talk to me. I really enjoyed his spirituality and honesty. Today we are not that good of friends probably because of my fears, but one day we might.

The Steps

I feel like I have caged my desire to drink. I don't have the obsession today like I use to have. The urge was almost to great at times, but I held on. I always keep the last days of my drinking forefront in my mind. Going to meetings were my tokens that I would use to help fight my desire to drink. My life while drinking and using was a life worth running away from. I am a happier person now even though the problems of life still hound me. I live now a day at a time and life on life terms. The cage must always be kept locked.

Urge To Drink

My wife asked me to go to the drug store to get a prescription filled. I gave the prescription to the clerk and she told me that is was going to be around 20 minutes to fill, so I waited. After a few minutes I began to wander around and some how ended up in the liquor aisle. I began to think how nice it would to have a sip of scotch and maybe a crown and coke etc. I felt I could handle just one, but that thought only lasted a second. I realized that just one wouldn't do, I needed more. All the responsibilities that I have worked so hard to regain were slowly dwindling to nothing. I felt this stone wall and foundation crumbling at my feet. I felt uncomfortable and took a picture instead of a drink and walk away. I picked up the prescription and went home. As I opened my front door the house was filled with kids it was my son's birthday party, he is now 4 years old.

History of Griffith Park in Los Angeles

View from Griffith Park of LA at Night From the time of the great Los Feliz Rancho to the present, Griffith Park has had a very interesting and colorful history. In 1896 Colonel Griffith J. Griffith donated over 3,015 acres of land to the city of Los Angeles. This single act gave Los Angeles the largest municipal park in the world. Col. Griffith purchased the parklands when he acquired the Rancho Los Feliz in 1882. He was a wealthy man when he arrived in Los Angeles in the early 1880’s. He had made his money in investing in mines and now he was investing in land. The Los Angeles land booms of the late 1880’s made him even wealthier and then he married money. In 1903, something snapped in Col. Griffith. There is speculation that he suffered from alcoholic delusions brought on by drinking two quarts of whiskey a day. He had hinted that his wife was in cahoots with the Pope to poison him. And at the end of a month long vacation in Santa Monica, the Colonel shot his wife. She jerked her head, jumped out a window, landed on a canvas awning, and survived. She became the “society wife who wouldn't die.” Col. Griffith was convicted of attempted murder brought on by alcoholic insanity and was sentenced to 2 years in San Quentin. He served his time and then returned to Los Angeles. He was a hated and wealthy man. In he 1913 he set up a trust fund and donated $150,000 to build the Griffith Observatory and the Greek Theater.

Guests

My brother and his wife came out to visit my kids and spend Thanksgiving with us. Others had asked if I was concerned about my brother coming out because of his drinking and the answer was no. I know one day my brother and I will be sitting next to each other at a meeting. He came out and didn't drink alcohol or use at all. He respects my decision on getting sober. It was almost two years when he saw his brother dying in front of his eyes. He and the rest of my family felt hopeless. He was the first of any family member I have seen since sobriety. They all want to see me, but I am just not ready yet. Anyways we went out to dinner and afterwards my brother and his wife said they couldn't believe how much fun we had without drinking. That was shocking to me, because I still somehow want to believe the only way to have fun is to drink. I need to remember that it takes time getting use to my new skin.

What is Alcoholics Anonymous?

We are a Fellowship of men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking and have found ourselves in various sorts of trouble as a result of drink. We attempt—most of us successfully—to create a satisfactory way of life without alcohol. For this we find we need the help and support of other alcoholics in A.A.

Alcohol

A colorless volatile flammable liquid, C2H5OH, synthesized or obtained by fermentation of sugars and starches and widely used, either pure or denatured, as a solvent and in drugs, cleaning solutions, explosives, and embarrassing situations.

Haalf Naaked Thursday

Happy Thanksgiving. Shit, I am already shopping for Christmas. Not yet anyways...

Correlation of alcohol craving with striatal dopamine synthesis capacity and D2/3 receptor availability

a combined [18F]DOPA and [18F]DMFP PET study in detoxified alcoholic patients. Heinz A, Siessmeier T, Wrase J, Buchholz HG, Grunder G, Kumakura Y, Cumming P, Schreckenberger M, Smolka MN, Rosch F, Mann K, Bartenstein P. Central Institute of Mental Health, Mannheim, Germany. OBJECTIVE: In abstinent alcoholic patients, a low availability of dopamine D2/3 receptors in the ventral striatum and adjacent putamen was associated with a high level of craving for alcohol. Alcohol craving may also depend on presynaptic dysfunction of striatal dopamine production, which may contribute to the risk of relapse. In this study, positron emission tomography (PET) was used to compare dopamine synthesis capacity in the striatum in alcoholic patients and healthy comparison subjects. METHOD: Positron emission tomography (PET) was used to map the net blood-brain clearance of the dopa decarboxylase substrate 6-[18F]fluoro-l-dopa, an index of dopamine synthesis capacity, in the striatum of 12 detoxified male alcoholic patients and 13 age-matched healthy men. The parametric maps were correlated with results of an earlier [18F]desmethoxyfallypride PET study of dopamine D2/3 receptor availability in the same 12 alcoholic patients and in 12 of the healthy volunteers. Alcohol craving was measured with the Alcohol Craving Questionnaire. Patients were followed for 6 months, and alcohol intake was recorded. RESULTS: The magnitude of net blood-brain clearance in the striatum did not differ significantly between detoxified alcoholic patients and the comparison subjects. However, a voxel-wise correlation analysis of net blood-brain clearance in the alcoholic patients linked low levels of dopamine synthesis capacity in the bilateral putamen with high levels of alcohol craving. After normalization of net blood-brain clearance maps to the voxel-wise estimates of dopamine D2/3 receptor availability, there was still a negative correlation with alcohol craving. Alcohol craving at the time of scanning was associated with high level of alcohol intake in the 6-month follow-up period. CONCLUSIONS: Simultaneous assay by PET of pre- and postsynaptic markers of dopamine neurotransmission indicated that a striatal dopamine deficit correlated with alcohol craving, which was associated with a high relapse risk. PMID: 16055774 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does alcohol affect females more than males?

Neuropsychopharmacol Hung. 2005 Jun;7(2):78-82. Related Articles, Links Gender differences: does alcohol affect females more than males? Walter H, Dvorak A, Gutierrez K, Zitterl W, Lesch OM. Medical University of Vienna, Austria. henriette.walter@meduniwien.ac.at Human substance use is complex, being influenced by many psychopathological and sociological factors as well as the substance's pharmacological effects. Dependence development is not attributable directly to the consumed substance, but takes also all the other issues into regard. One of all these issues might be that gender represents an influencing factor and impacts on tolerance of a substance, on abuse patterns and finally on development of dependence as well as on addiction related disorders. Therapeutic programs' needs might be different too. In general, more men than women are alcohol dependent or have alcohol problems, but women are at greater risk for adverse effects and alcohol related diseases. Death rates among female alcoholics are 50 to 100 percent higher than those of men. Major impairments, diagnosis, medical and psychosocial consequences and their implication on treatment will be outlined. PMID: 16167459 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE

Binge Drinking in Adolescents and College Students

Despite laws in every State that make it illegal for anyone under the age of 21 to purchase or possess alcohol, young people report that alcohol is easy to obtain and that many high school and college students drink with one goal to get drunk. 1 Binge drinking is defined as consuming five or more drinks in a row for boys and four or more in a row for girls 2 Prevalence of Binge Drinking Binge drinking, often beginning around age 13, tends to increase during adolescence, peak in young adulthood (ages 18 to 22), then gradually decrease Highlights of SAMHSAÂ’s 1998 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse6 include: Why didn't it decrease for me? Is something wrong with me? Why am I not normal? Read the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous!

A long Line

The lines in my college were long and my trips to Miami were frequent. I use to pick up ounces and sell them for personal use and drinking money. I didn't care how many people I fucked over as long as I could get drunk and high. I felt comfortable in my skin. My confidence was as strong as any Oxford grad, the problem was I had to have a drink.

Door thwarts quick exit for Bush

President George W Bush tried to make a quick exit from a news conference in Beijing on Sunday - only to find himself thwarted by locked doors. After answering just six questions from a group of US reporters, the president strode away heading towards the door. President Bush tugged at both handles on the double doors before admitting: "I was trying to escape. Obviously, it didn't work." Mr Bush was in China in the latest stop of his East Asia tour. 'Jet lag' The president had called the news session with US reporters at his hotel. It seems almost spiteful but the vast press pack agrees that they are great pictures BBC reporter Adam Brookes Reporter's diary His earlier meeting with Chinese President Hu Jintao did not permit media questions. Mr Bush answered a range of questions before one reporter said: "Respectfully, sir - you know we're always respectful - in your statement this morning with President Hu, you seemed a little off your game, you seemed to hurry through your statement. There was a lack of enthusiasm. Was something bothering you?" The president answered: "Have you ever heard of jet lag? Well, good. That answers your question." The reporter asked for a follow-up question but the president then thanked the attending journalists and said "No you may not" as he walked away. He strode from the lectern to the door, trying both handles and then breaking into a laugh. An aide escorted him to the correct

One More

How often did I say I'll just have one more and ended up closing the bar.

Start over Today

Today is another day that I am glad I didn't drink. I woke up at 4:00 am to off load a truck by myself. My install crew wasn't there to help, because the truck was 8 hours ahead of schedule. I placed out the furniture and the project manager still acting like a prick shook my hand. Life on life's terms... I am headed home. I 'm typing this while driving, not safe!