quick smoking

Thits is my next deal that I am going to quit. The key word is going to.

Worked all yesterday and pretty much 4 more hours today, It will be great to have a weekend soon that will be relaxing.

no sleep

Ok, lets do the math 3-6 = 3 hours so therefore 3hr x alcoholic = drink. No coffee for me that late anymore. Shit, I have so much to do today.

why

What the hell am I still up for.. Oh yeah I drank coffee late today and now I am being punished by the caffeine god.

I am listening to Jefferson Airplane right now and white rabbit is on.. Wow I am remember when I dropped window pane and listened to this song.. Those were the bad days, but I am sober and the door man can kiss my ass.

step work

Well I guess its time for me to start the steps again, because it just feels right. I am still up in the air on the job thing but today I feel optimistic. I am just working non stop in trying to get more business. So the more you put in the barrel the more comes out. That is the case unless there is a hole, oh god I hope there isn't a hole. See what I mean, Steps, steps, steps...

rough times

I have been on a ride of my life and really testing my sobriety. You name and it went wrong with me in the last several weeks. I am hanging by my ass on my job, but my family is right by my side. So that is the good thing, but the people at the meeting I attend seem to avoid me like the plague..

birthday

Well it is my other birthday today and I have been sober for over 4 years. Therefore I love the program and god, because without one of these I would have been dead by now. I think I was born on a Friday, pretty scary.

We have growing number of people coming into our rehabs in socal. Are they looking for a better life or is it just a fad. Some of the people seem to think that this is a game and for a guy like me thats a resentment real quick. I have seen people die trying to stay sober so this shit is no joke.

Visual Thesaurus

Very cool.. check it out

doing the thing

I am doing what I am suppose to do and staying sober. The guy I was helping is now homeless and back at the drugs and the bottle. He will be going to jail soon, because I see it on his face.

football season

I have to go with my oldest boy (Photo) to pick up his football gear. It is a another season and I am happy to be sober so I can be there for him. He would not allow me to be around if I were drinking, so this is a gift of sobriety.

travelopia

I am scheduling the trips for the next 8 weeks, so I hope to see my blogopia friends.

Well the work on this so called project of mine has given me a roller coaster ride of emotions. It has mainly been fear, fear of failure, fear that I am not good enough, etc. I need a more positive vibe in my life, maybe a prayer, maybe a meeting.

nuts

I am so going crazy. To many balls in there air at this time, which results in late nights and early mornings. I am still sober and that is what matters..

working my ass off

I have been busting my ass staying sober and trying to get an implausible idea off the ground. So far we have a dead line of the end of July to enter a design contest. If this wins then it will launch, so basically there is no 2nd place. I have a great team that I assembled and we will see.

I need more time to blog because it makes me feel good.

back to blog

I have been busting my ass on getting business and starting my new company. The new company process has been hard and it consumes my energy, whats left of it. I am sober and god is blessing me in my life.

took my cake

Tonight I took my cake tonight for 4 years. That was pretty cool and it has not been easy but more than well worth the effort. I had not been able to go to my home group meeting for 2 weeks and felt a little out of place. However when I was out of town I picked up some meetings. I have been in a funk because our company let 5 people go and I feel certain that I am on that next list. I just pray to god it doesn't turn out that way. I have been preparing myself in case it does happen. That is something I would not do if I was drinking.

pork and beans

This is a strange video however the song seems catchy..

Hanging out today low profiling it. I guess I will cook some pork n beans and a grilled chicken.

no meeting

I didn't go to the meeting tonight because I wanted to be with my family. So, I didn't get a cake and my sponsor wanted to wait till next week anyways. He had his daughter's kids and I didn't need to much more to exempt myself.

I hate this time of the year around my birthday, it seems so ironic. I guess the past rushes through me as if it were my blood. Anyways thanks for all the congrads..

cake

I am taking my cake tonight for 4 years, which have been the best of my life. This is not because of any money, but because I have people who love me. It was never that way when I was drinking. I am hanging with the famila this weekend, since I have been out of town for a while on business. Have a great weekend...

back home from las vegas

Man, do I hate going to Las Vegas. The city has nothing I want now that I am sober. My boss was ridding my ass the whole time as I sat there watching him get drunk every night. All the other guys in our company drank their fair share as well. One guy they were up drinking with said on the next day, he didn't remember how he got back to his hotel room. He acted as though he was bewildered, and with out any behavioral concern. Whatever...

I am glad to be home and will take a birthday cake this Sunday night.

still in vegas

I am still here in vegas and leaving tomorrow. Six days in vegas is to long. I am sober and still believe in god so that's a good thing.

4 years on May 17th

I will have 4 years this Saturday and unfortunately I will be in Vegas at a convention for 6 days and that sucks. I have this convention every year and my birthday always falls during the convention. The good things are I have my family back I love very much. My wife and I are close now and I have god in my life.. That alone is huge for a guy like me.