love and tolerance

Wow love and tolerance is what I need to remember at meetings. It is easy for me to get a resentment.

Life is crazy my deadline is coming for my website so I am pushing as hard as I can to make the date.

Pod

I was pissed off at my oldest because I thought he took my Ipod. I was acting like the old behavior which was not good. I have to watch myself because I am quick to judge and 95% of the time I am wrong.

The boys have their soccer games tomorrow and pop warner football is starting soon. Running back and forth all Saturday is getting old quick.

GOD HELP

This website is driving me nuts. There is some much to do and I am even having problems picking colors aaahhh. I need to move on so I sent it to some of my designer friends. The more I can deligate the better I will be. Some things need to go to god other things need to go to people who know what they are doing.

I need to go to a meeting today or tomorrow..

scarletts

Wow there is something about silent films!!

We went to a party today at some friends house. There where 5 couples there and they were all drinking. Man its hard when it was a hot day and you have to watch your friends drink ice cold beer. I was bumming a little bit but I soon got over it because I went home.

peter pan is real

I thought Peter Pan was made of only fairy tales. Peter Pans Blog

I went to my meeting tonight and it was just ok. I was just there in body and sometimes that has got to be good enough. I have to much shit going on in my mind.

F the hard drive

The hard drive will cost $1689.00, so screw that I will deal with the missing data somehow some way. I still have some work re-doing multiple spreadsheets, but again whatever. I need to move on. This kind of shit is what I would drink about.

I want to go to the beach tomorrow but the townies will be packing it because of the holiday. So maybe I will be hanging out at the house.

Fruits

I have been trying to eat healthier. I really believe that a healthy body creates a healthy mind. It all about eat good feel good.

I am picking up hopefully my recovered data this morning.

5 years

Well I have 5 years of sobriety which is truly amazing. I did it by not drinking or using one day at a time. I have a lot of fears now in my life but I am working through them by praying and going to meetings.

I am trying to get this new biz off the ground and it has been hard. My hard drive crashed and it sucks. I have to pay a shit load of money to get the data recovered.. Back up back up..

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

So Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers peeps out there.. This is a big day for all the mothers, I went out and got a bialy for my wife its a NY thing. They are hard to find in southern California.

I have to clean the house today because that's what the wife wants for MD. Having three boys makes cleaning the house a big chore.

STILL SOBER

Easter sucked I resigned from my job. I could not take the boss any more, because he is an a-hole. So I am busting my ass trying to get my new company off the ground and it is taking way longer than I thought. I have been working insane hours trying to cut the timeline down. I have been praying for god's intervention.

My boys are doing really good and the spring sports are sucking up time from me, but time with them is golden. They are all I have in this world.

virus

I have this virus chasing my ass around for several days. I have a big meeting this Friday and I have to be at the top of my game. So I need to shake this virus.

No drama today so I am cool.

yard work

Well I completed my tasks today in the yard and didn't end up drinking over it. I had to re-seed in areas because of my female lab that likes to pee on each square foot of grass. She is a fat lazy dog but she stayed with me while I was drinking. She actually caught most of my verbal abuse because she she couldn't talk back. That was only sometimes because I swear she talked after a couple bottles of crown royal.

I am getting ready to go to bed because I have been staying up way to late.

if i drink

If I decide to pick up that first bottle it wont end till I am at the toilet passed out. There will also be several empty bottles near by. Even though the BB says pick up the first drink that 1st drink doesn't have to be from a glass.

I am cleaning the house today per my wife's instructions as well as fixing up the back yard by planting flowers and seeding the grass. Doing chores like these keep me out of my head till a meeting.

working on a name

I am working on a name for my company "green company". I am hoping to make a change in my life as well as to change the way we use materials.

I am still with the little man but I am getting ready to make my break. He has been a bitch to me. He has cut off my company credit card while I am traveling leaving me to pick up the expenses. I can't afford to do this again. I have been going to meetings and praying so that is good.

meeting

I went to a meeting tonight and that was good because I needed it badly. I have a lot going on in my life and I need to be prepared to face my fears. The only steps I know how to take in fighting my fears are through AA and God.. Wow it is that simple..

GOOD + Friendly Iran?

Iran: the friendliest people in the world Beaming smiles, gel and a joke about lavatory brushes and weapons of mass destruction - Iran overturns all expectations

I am doing ok... just waiting for Monday to be over. That is the day when everything will get nasty between me and my boss. Meetings and Praying are all I can do for now. I am really thankful for GOD and AA, because the alternative would be so much worse.

fear is back

I have been battling my boss for my job and it has been a nightmare. I was slapped on 100% commish and that is not good when you have a family. So I have been scrambling trying get my new project up and running.

I have been praying hard and keeping one foot in front of the other.

2:00 AM

Wow I am working my ass off and hopefully the pay day will be soon. I think there are a lot of cool ideas that I will be bringing market. This is the happest I have been in many years. We have no money, but thats ok.

head hurts

What is going on with me is that I am going nuts with lack of sleep. I am trying to get my green company up and rolling as well as working out an exit strategy with the company I am working for now. The company that I am working for are a bunch of pricks and a midget for the boss. I was the doormat that the big book warns about not being. I have changed and became stronger and I wont lay down anymore.

My boss is just a few inches taller than the cowboys in the video. Jack in The box commercial

Men Vs Women

men vs women differences

We had my wife's birthday party tonight and of course our friend with the 2 1/2' vodka bottle was here tonight. She has almost finished it and as she left I told her she should chug it. She looked at me strange because she knows my story well. They couldn't keep up to me when I was drinking. The others were drunk too and laughing at shit I had no clue what about.

The alcohol around me with our friends does not bother me because they are normal and drink only once in a while. Plus I like to fuck with them. I think the only way I will drink again is if I hijack a Heineken truck and drive it into the desert were I could be alone to enjoy my cargo.