Wow I have been busting ass on my new company and hitting meetings and a bible study class. I am doing the things I don't want to do, it helps keep me sober.
I have seen a lot of people die in 5 1/2 years and that is what the reality is for me if I decide to have a drink. I need to blog more because it helps me keep it real.
Simple clean living just like that
Watching the kids while the wife is at a funeral in NY.
When I am feeling alone I go to a meeting. It is the place were I can feel some comfort.
My son's soccer game always makes me feel good. I like to see him running around and enjoying himself. They tied one game and lost a game to a team that is in a higher level. It is all cool though.
Wow it is so hot here in Southern California. My son's soccer game yesterday was played when the temperature was 105 degrees. They were all almost collapsing from the heat by the end of the game. We lost too which made it feel hotter.
I helped clean the house yesterday as well as organize it and I feel better. It is amazing to me that I can feel so much better being organized. Organization is part of my program believe it or not.
Hey thanks Scot for the comment.I have been busting my ass on my new company and it is a virtual time sucker. I have not wavered in my program. I love this picture because it is what the reality is if I try to stay sober alone.
My son has a soccer game today and I am excited. I love to watch him play because he enjoys it so much. The other 2 were playing football and due to a scandal evolving a couple coaches the season wont happen for them as well as the other kids. The coaches have big egos and decided to hold practices early despite league rules. These coaches are assholes and the odds are they really never played high school or college football.
I need to stay with the blogging because writing this somehow made me feel good.
Life has been in session with me lately. I have been busy setting up a new company and trying to keep my marriage and program together. I am lacking in both areas and feeling like I can not do it all.
Wow love and tolerance is what I need to remember at meetings. It is easy for me to get a resentment.
Life is crazy my deadline is coming for my website so I am pushing as hard as I can to make the date.
I was pissed off at my oldest because I thought he took my Ipod. I was acting like the old behavior which was not good. I have to watch myself because I am quick to judge and 95% of the time I am wrong.
The boys have their soccer games tomorrow and pop warner football is starting soon. Running back and forth all Saturday is getting old quick.
This website is driving me nuts. There is some much to do and I am even having problems picking colors aaahhh. I need to move on so I sent it to some of my designer friends. The more I can deligate the better I will be. Some things need to go to god other things need to go to people who know what they are doing.
I need to go to a meeting today or tomorrow..
Wow there is something about silent films!!
We went to a party today at some friends house. There where 5 couples there and they were all drinking. Man its hard when it was a hot day and you have to watch your friends drink ice cold beer. I was bumming a little bit but I soon got over it because I went home.
I thought Peter Pan was made of only fairy tales.
Peter Pans Blog
I went to my meeting tonight and it was just ok. I was just there in body and sometimes that has got to be good enough. I have to much shit going on in my mind.
The hard drive will cost $1689.00, so screw that I will deal with the missing data somehow some way. I still have some work re-doing multiple spreadsheets, but again whatever. I need to move on. This kind of shit is what I would drink about.
I want to go to the beach tomorrow but the townies will be packing it because of the holiday. So maybe I will be hanging out at the house.
I have been trying to eat healthier. I really believe that a healthy body creates a healthy mind. It all about eat good feel good.
I am picking up hopefully my recovered data this morning.
Well I have 5 years of sobriety which is truly amazing. I did it by not drinking or using one day at a time. I have a lot of fears now in my life but I am working through them by praying and going to meetings.
I am trying to get this new biz off the ground and it has been hard. My hard drive crashed and it sucks. I have to pay a shit load of money to get the data recovered.. Back up back up..
So Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers peeps out there.. This is a big day for all the mothers, I went out and got a bialy for my wife its a NY thing. They are hard to find in southern California.
I have to clean the house today because that's what the wife wants for MD. Having three boys makes cleaning the house a big chore.
Easter sucked I resigned from my job. I could not take the boss any more, because he is an a-hole. So I am busting my ass trying to get my new company off the ground and it is taking way longer than I thought. I have been working insane hours trying to cut the timeline down. I have been praying for god's intervention.
My boys are doing really good and the spring sports are sucking up time from me, but time with them is golden. They are all I have in this world.
I have this virus chasing my ass around for several days. I have a big meeting this Friday and I have to be at the top of my game. So I need to shake this virus.
No drama today so I am cool.
Well I completed my tasks today in the yard and didn't end up drinking over it. I had to re-seed in areas because of my female lab that likes to pee on each square foot of grass. She is a fat lazy dog but she stayed with me while I was drinking. She actually caught most of my verbal abuse because she she couldn't talk back. That was only sometimes because I swear she talked after a couple bottles of crown royal.
I am getting ready to go to bed because I have been staying up way to late.
If I decide to pick up that first bottle it wont end till I am at the toilet passed out. There will also be several empty bottles near by. Even though the BB says pick up the first drink that 1st drink doesn't have to be from a glass.
I am cleaning the house today per my wife's instructions as well as fixing up the back yard by planting flowers and seeding the grass. Doing chores like these keep me out of my head till a meeting.
I am working on a name for my company "green company". I am hoping to make a change in my life as well as to change the way we use materials.
I am still with the little man but I am getting ready to make my break. He has been a bitch to me. He has cut off my company credit card while I am traveling leaving me to pick up the expenses. I can't afford to do this again. I have been going to meetings and praying so that is good.
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