FIRE

Holy shit this fire was a little to close to my office.

Daily Reprieve

“Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power.” - Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85 _______________________ “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.” - Psalm 30:11-12 When I was out there drinking I didn't think that god was even there for me and now that I am sober I know he was there I just wasn't looking.

What is success?

Our assumptions and beliefs drive our behavior.  What we believe we can achieve, we achieve.  Yet, when we believe we are not good enough to achieve something, we don't.  Fear is the only thing that holds people back from achieving personal success.  Success lies in being who you are, not in what you fear you should be.  What you think happens to you.
Everyone strives for success in one form or another.  People need to achieve worthwhile goals to feel satisfied with their lives, but everyone's goals vary.  We all need to become the kind of person we individually aspire to be.  Only you know what's important in achieving your vision of success.  However, we all seek shared outcomes, like happiness, self-awareness and expression, achievement and satisfying interpersonal relationships, to provide a foundation for where we want to be.

Why the post? I am back to reading my Dale Carnegie.    

Postcard From Iraq

Cured of Alcoholism

"We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition" I haven't been checking in with god on a daily basis till lately. I don't know if it was resentments or just my lack of a positive attitude. Whatever it was, I have learned that in order to avoid some of the ruts in life I need to strengthen my spirituality.

Service

“Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 20 “For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28

Whats Going On

George Bush's Lack of Respect

SAN DIEGO -- There's controversy over how the military is transporting the bodies of service members killed overseas, 10News reported. A local family said fallen soldiers and Marines deserve better and that one would think our war heroes are being transported with dignity, care and respect. It said one would think upon arrival in their hometowns they are greeted with honor. But unfortunately, the family said that is just not the case. Dead heroes are supposed to come home with their coffins draped with the American flag -- greeted by a color guard. But in reality, many are arriving as freight on commercial airliners -- stuffed in the belly of a plane with suitcases and other cargo. John Holley and his wife, Stacey, were stunned when they found out the body of their only child, Matthew John Holley, who died in Iraq last month, would be arriving at Lindbergh Field as freight. Matthew was a medic with the 101st Airborne unit and died on Nov. 15. "When someone dies in combat, they need to give them due respect they deserve for (the) sacrifice they made," said John Holley. John and Stacey Holley, who were both in the Army, made some calls, and with the help of U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer, Matthew was greeted with honor and respect. "Our familiarity with military protocol and things of that sort allowed us to kind of put our foot down -- we're not sure other parents have that same knowledge," said Stacey Holley.The Holleys now want to make sure every fallen hero gets the proper welcome. The bodies of dead service members arrive at Dover Air Force Base. From that point, they are sent to their families on commercial airliners. Reporters from 10News called the Defense Department for an explanation. A representative said she did not know why this is happening.

Home Sober

I am glad I am home after being around some much free alcohol. I got home Saturday morning at 7:30 a.m. and spent my day with the kids. Later in the day we all attended our neighborhood Christmas party and everyone was drinking. One guy's face was all red due to all the blood vessels about to burst, I guess I will save him a seat. My wife an I left after being there for less than a hour to go to a AA Christmas party. I was bummed that we were an hour and a half late, but my wife would have been bitching if we did not go to our neighbors. Almost everyone was there and I felt at home and spoke to everyone. It always amazes me how I have more fun with fellow alcoholic's than so called normal people. There were birthdays celebrated and everyone just had a good time with no fights, people getting sick or urinating on the carpet. It Also gave a chance for all the guy's with wife's to see whom we stay sober with the "pack" as some call it. Today I am just grateful for a god who is caring by allowing me to stay sober.

Iwas at another "cocktail" party last night at the convention. I was drinking tonic water with a lime. I had to switch from a coke because they keep puting it in a brandy glass. Later I went to the bar and instead of saying just Tonic water I just added gin infront of it. I quicky corrected the bartender. I began to feel uncomfortable.I ended up at a eleven clock meeting and today I am sober Thank God for AA.

Well I did not drink last night at our client party and I was the only one sober. The smell of red wine was on every ones breath. I felt more comfortable this with a little time under my belt. Maybe I am actually growing up. We'll I am iin the conference now and I hope to post later today.

Convention

My list:

• Big Book


• Phone Lists


• Meetings  Times and Location

I am set, now “just don’t fuckin drink”…..

LA sux

I swear either I am getting too old or just sick of driving to LA. The attitude and traffic are driving me nuts. Where are all these people from? not just Mexico. They have a lot of meetings in Los Angeles and I have heard that there is some really good ones. I am going to go to one soon, when I get a hour and a half free sometime. I seem to be trying to make up lost ground from when I was drinking, but it is a slow process. I just hope my tiny boss accepts the rate I am going or I will be gone... I have to go to a convention this Wednesday, and as usual I am nervous about all the alcohol that will be flowing. Back to work.

My Sponsor 16 years Happy Birthday

My sponsor asked me to give him a Cake and the Token tonight at the meeting. When he asked me I was a little taken back, because I only have a 1 1/2 years of sobriety. Obviously my self-worth is running at a all time high. When I got out of rehab I spent my time searching for a sponsor. I heard about this men's meeting and how good it was so I went a few times. On one occasion I heard my sponsor speak about his wife his kids and spoke of them with respect. Something inside of me told me he was the one I needed to help me through life. I didn't only have to stay sober I had to rebuild my relationship with my wife and kids back and time was not on my side. My kids hated me and my wife had a attorney and God was only a memory as a child. I listen to him on every suggestion he made regardless of what my head told me. When he told me I need to attend 90 meetings in 90 days I did it. He told me to look a my shoes when talking with my wife and it worked. He told me to bring her flowers and I did every Thursday. He told me to spend time with the kids and I did. He told me to prepare when I traveled on business by bringing the big book and to know where all the meetings are and what time they began. The rehab hospital I went offers a free 52 week program (3hours once a week) called after care he agreed I needed to go and I went. Everything he told me to do worked, and it wasn't my way. Today my life is more than I thought I could have and I owe all of it to one man and tonight I get give him a 16 year token, Thank you

Cool Short Flicks

I love short animation films and these are good. Check out the films with kick ass music: Ufo. Another one is Paper Sky, and Desiderata. Stupido Italiano

Breast Fed

I always thought my wife breast fed my boys. I wondered why they like to eat that shit food at Mc D's.

Alcoholism is Alive and Well

Man accused of disrupting flight says he's due at rehab center 12-02-05 CHARLOTTE, N.C. A man accused of urinating in an airplane aisle and lighting a cigarette during a flight to Dulles International Airport told a judge that he's due to check into rehab. Forty-one-year-old Mark McGovern told a federal magistrate judge in Charlotte, North Carolina yesterday that he's an unemployed lawyer and is supposed to check into an alcohol treatment program at a veterans hospital in Tampa, Florida on Friday. He didn't say why he was on the flight from Orlando to Dulles on Friday, or explain his behavior. The plane, with 117 passengers, was diverted to Charlotte and McGovern was arrested. It later completed the flight to Dulles. McGovern is charged with creating a disturbance and interfering with a flight crew. If convicted, he could face up to five years in prison and a 250-thousand-dollar fine. The judge ordered that McGovern should remain in custody until his story could be verified and escorted to the treatment center. Information from: The Charlotte Observer, http://www.charlotte.com Copyright 2005 Associated Press.

Slippery Slopes of Life

Today I felt really good, better than I have felt in a long time. I felt good about my life and a desire to live. I worked my ass off at my office today, it felt like I was finally getting a strong grasp on my business strategies. Everything was going so well that I firmly believed that nothing could phase me. I received a call at the end of the day from a client who I just finished a project with. He informed me that one of the product we ship was wrong. Which is a $8,000.00 mistake, one that might cost me my job. I scrambled to prove my innocents by going through the files and emails. I couldn't find anything in my favor and began to panic. How could I go from such a high to an extreme low in seconds. I began to be overcome with fear and the impending doom feeling. I prayed and asked for help. I don't know the outcome tomorrow but for now I am sober.

The Bottom

I always feel like for what ever reason I end up on the bottom. It seems no matter how hard I try something always comes along and knocks me off my feet. However I have been giving more and more of my problems to god. Better off in his hands than mine and by doing so my life becomes more manageable. This is a simple program. Just don't drink or use today.

COMMITMENT

Main Entry: com·mit·ment Pronunciation: k&-'mit-m&nt Function: noun 1 a : an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1) : a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2) : an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee b : MITTIMUS 2 a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b : something pledged c : the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled a commitment to a cause.