life

My whole deal with working from 9pm till 8 am for a week on this project made it difficult, because I never sleep during the day. However I had no choice as I began to pass out. The whole ordeal has been a little reminder of how I chased that buzz on a daily basis for so many years. I don't ever want to drink again and having a God and the program helps me make that possible.

I pod

I got the new I pod and love it. I caught up on all the episodes of lost.. That is my favorite tv show..

back from hell

I am finally back home from a project that was a bitch to complete. I had everything against me on this job and weather was one of them. I am sober and happy to be so. I couldn't have completed this while drinking.

big night

Tonight is a big part of our install. We need yo get all this shit done tonight. I wanted to go to a meeting today however rest is more important for now. I was tossing and turning all today tring to get aome sleep. I don't sleep in the daytime so it is unusal for me. Thank god for blackberry for posting. My mother inlaw is suppose to come over to the project site tonight. If I was still drinking there wouldn't be a reason for her to want to see me. Thanks to the program I am sober today.

life

I have been working on this project in New Jersey. Through the snow and dipping tempertures. I have not had more than a few hours sleep in 3 days. I am exhausted. Only a few more days left. My wife quit her job to home school my son. He has anxiety and night terrors. As a parent this son is pushing my sanity.

no baseball

My son didn't make the baseball team. He has been in the dumps for days now. I have been trying to comfort him. The coaches are a bunch of ignorant assholes. this really sucks.

no meeting

My wife was pissed so I didn't go to the meeting tonight. She had to go grocery shopping and needed help putting the boys to bed. I felt bad because I promised the kid I would take him. I am screwed either way and I have to protect my own sobriety, but I took him to starbucks for a 30 minute talk. I hope that will be good enough to keep him from using tonight. I watched him get in a car with a chic and some dude and drive away. This was the first time I felt like I cared about him.. How strange this feeling was. It was almost as if one of my boys got in that car..

sobriety,rehab,alcoholic,addiction

friday

I spent all of today down at one of our vendors plant in mexico. I am so glad I am a US citizen. I just couldn't make it living in those impoverished conditions. The rate of kidnappings has gone up for US citizens at an alarming rate. They grab you and then your released through negotiators at some ransom price. The cops are in on the deal as well. Great for the tourism board of mexico.

My son's baseball tryouts are tomorrow and I think he is almost there on being prepared. It all depends on his mindset during tryouts. I will be happy either way because I know he is a good kid and good enough to make it regardless of the outcome. The fact that my son trusts me enough to help him achieve his goal is an example of the promises in the big book. Which I get to see as long as I stay sober.

O'DONNELL DENIES SHE IS AN ALCOHOLIC

American comedienne ROSIE O'DONNELL has denied rumours she is an alcoholic, insisting she chose to give up booze because she is desperate to lose weight. the story contractmusic.com

Rosie, denial is part of the disease sister.

addiction

click here for more of Scott Brooks's work

I am glad to be sober even though my life seems to be a roller coaster ride. I really want things to settle down with my home life and work. We are having issues with my middle son and his attitude and disrespect are taxing to my mind and health. My job is more demanding and the traveling unending. All I do is pray and go to meetings hoping for some peace.

More concern about alcoholic energy drinks

Rez-Mart and the Nisqually Shell station were two of 16 stores busted for selling alcoholic beverages to minors. In these cases, the minors bought drinks called "Tilt," a malt liquor with caffeine without showing any identification. story

Am I missing something.. When did energy drinks start containing alcohol??

fat kills Alcoholic

An alcoholic who suffered epileptic fits when he withdrew from alcohol was found dead at the bottom of his stairs, an inquest heard. link to story

Giants

Go Giants.. Thats my father in law JOE...Go Joe Go Giants.

back home

New Jersey was a night and on top of it I have the flu. The project went great but I have only had 5 hours sleep..

the kid is pissing me off by almost becoming a royal pain in the ass. I keep getting a flood of text messages and he is always at the wrong time for me to talk..Shit when I started working with my sponsor I kept it short. I did what I was suppose to and that is meetings.

satan himself

Guess who???

back to NJ

I have to go back to New Jersey this week. I have to deal with the unions again.. I am sick of the this project..

The kid I have been taking to meetings has been driving me nuts. I feel like killing him sometimes. He acts like he doesn't take this shit seriously... We die out there.

super sober hero

My kids and I have been getting along pretty damn good the last few days. I have to take them to the batting cages today, because spring baseball try outs are coming up in a few weeks. It is strange but there are try outs for little league baseball out here. In our area the kids have personal coaches etc.

Ostrich

My middle son has issues and we have been trying not to deal with it. He has anxiety issues and it has kept him out of school. It was a family problem and we have hide it for about a year. He has missed more than two months of school. We have now gone to the grade school and they are helping us. It is even a public school and we have been blown away on how helpful they have been. It also helps that my son is brilliant he scored 100% on state of California tests. He was out the whole time the class was preparing, which blew away all the teachers. I think he is one of us though and that what I am fearful of.

depression

I have been battling depression for several weeks, with some days worse than others. I have been the snail or crab looking for a better shell. This is tough because it always has in one of the card decks a suicide card.

AA?

I am not sure about this one..cowboy bar link you decide..

My youngest boy had a fever of 105 degrees last night. We finally got it down with an ice bath. Thank god I was not drinking.

peter pan

For all those who wouldn't believe in Peter Pan, he is alive and well. He is still fighting his Captain Hook. I need a meeting.

link for Peter Pan

the man

If I only had a 1/1000th of this mans drive and conviction in life.

Barbie Dolls

what happened to barbie? Barbie link

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

GO CHARGERS

Esposa Familia Vermont

Video of our trip to Vermont...

extreme sleep

[Like any extreme activity, it requires the nerves of steel, good choice of timing, location and the absence of suspicious cops. All this however is easier to achieve, because you are, well... asleep, so you can trust the unseen powers to take care of the rest. Long & restful sleep is by no means guaranteed, but perhaps somebody will take your picture and you'll wake up famous]. link via: (mo geek news)

tag you fall

Technorati stats are incorrect and if you challenge them your rating will fall. They are a bunch of blow hards at their corporate office. Don't question big brother. technorati

Other than dealing with the three piece suit technorati clowns, I had a good day. It is baseball practice for the boys. I have to get them ready for baseball try outs. Sobriety isn't to bad. I have quality problems today.

caged

Addiction is sometimes like having a caged animal inside of you.

yeah

I have been dealing with that young neighbor kid who is trying to get sober. Yikes it was been grueling since he is only 18. He has been locked up since he was 14.

I have been interviewing admin assistants again. I hopefully will have someone hired by Monday.

Beijing's penis emporium

"On a dark street in Beijing but my appetite seems to have gone for a stroll outside. Nancy has brought out a whole selection of delicacies. They are draped awkwardly across a huge platter, with a crocodile carved out of a carrot as the centrepiece. Nestling beside the dog's penis are its clammy testicles, and beside that a giant salami-shaped object. "Donkey," says Nancy. "Good for the skin..." She guides me round the penis platter. "Snake. Very potent. They have two penises each." I did not know that. "BBC link

hate NY

Our flight from JFK was diverted to Ontario Ca, The fog was bad in San Diego so the Airport was closed. Now I am stuck on a bus with a bunch of ass hole New Yorkers headed to the San Diego. Several cut in line and if I wasn't with the kids I would have kicked their asses. I did have open my mouth to them and they wouldn't look at me.I get mad as shit when people don't follow the rules, or should I say my rules.

home tomorrow

Tomorrow we will be home.. Thank god. Our flight leaves JFK at 5:30pm..

headed for Connecticut

We are leaving tomorrow for Connecticut. That we will be the final run to our trip. I am wanting to go home no meetings here.

still in vermont

I am still here with tons of snow.

Vermont

I am in Vermont right now and it reminds me of California. That is the people, laid back and from the 60's kind of liberal ideals. That is fine with me. I was hoping to catch a meeting, however the place we are in a remote area. There are hippie communes close by however that won't work..

not fun

This place is driving me nuts, I am in the Adirondacks and there is still a lot of snow. We are in a small town and I am getting stir crazy, plus my wifes family is driving me nuts.

inlaws

I am at my in laws house in New Jersey. Yikes I thought this was a vacation. I really was opening this would be relaxing. We are heading to up state NY tomorrow which will be a 5 hours with 7 kids, wow.

half me

I am down in the dumps today and I am not sure why. Well I think I know why its this project from last year 07 that I keep wanting to carry. I need to give it to god like the blue book says. Why is the book blue? Does anyone know the answer to that? AA trivia.

my mouth

Damn, I have to watch my mouth at work. I told another girl in the office that my assistant was a lazy ass and how I wished she (the other girl) was my assistant. Well that got back to my assistant and all hell broke loose. Hell it was the truth however my assistant felt bad. I apologized and blamed my words on the pressure I am under. I am not a good liar and I think she knows that, but whatever. I am damn sure not going to drink over her lazy ass.

2008

I stayed sober through 2007 and made it through New Years sober. Now living sober for today starts again as we begin 2008. I am going to make more meetings this year and do my steps again. I am also going to make more calls on the phone list. My sobriety is a gift from god and alcoholics anonymous and can be taken away at anytime. link Cool site check it out. icon addicts

Happy New Year

Well the party is over and I am sober. Wow, there was a couple new people at our party and one of the mom's had her boobs almost hanging out. What an outfit it was or should I say barely of any fabric. The main thing is that my wife had fun and I hung with the men. They drank less than the women which blew my mind. The guys were basically light weights which was fine by me. I still felt uncomfortable with everyone drinking and I guess that it will never go away. Maybe the day I feel comfortable will be the day I start drinking again. Happy New Year blog buddies..

returns

I spent some of the day returning crap I got at Christmas. These were the worst lines I have seen at every store that I returned items. I was trying to keep my cool while others in line were bitching. I felt like saying we all have better thing to do so shut the hell up. Anyways I am headed to a meeting tonight so that is a good thing..

angels

I guess if I had an angel this would be mine. It maybe because it would be just my luck.

I have to start getting the house ready for our New Years party. My wife has made me a list and it's quite long. I really just want to be a bum today. I promise I will post photos.

sleep overs

Say no to your kids sleep over friends. My much beloved sleep is gone as quick as it came. This friend of my son's is a walking alarm clock. My head is killing me and I feel like shit. He was up all night and I am sure his parents got sleep.

good day

I finished the flash presentation for work today, yeaaah. I can finally get a few days of down time. I want to go to a meeting tomorrow night just for the hell of it. I need the coins in my sobriety bank and meetings are the best way to get them.. I have one shot at this deal so I can't afford any dumbass mistakes.

We are having a New Years Eve party at our house and there will be drinking. I don't like the idea, but my wife shouldn't have to suffer because of me. Everyone we are inviting only drink a few, which is something I will never get.

mobiscope

I have downloaded this and it works right off my Blackberry. This product is truly cool and an alcoholics dream by watching what the hell is going on in my house while at work.

Monitor your home/office activities in realtime. Be sure of safety of your children when you are away. Motion detector – start recording when Mobiscope detects a disturbance. click link

meeting

This time of year I am always looking for a meeting. I use to drink a lot all the time, but the holidays it seemed to be in excess.

The boys had fun today opening their presents and my wife did as well. My wife got me some shirts and ties and the colors were horrible. She never seems to get me what I want, but I am not going to drink about it. So I took the boys to a park and we played football. It was fun seeing them enjoy themselves. Happy Holidays to all in blogland.

getting sleep

I am finally getting some rest. I also working on my new company. I new to make a change however going it on your own is fearful. I also have a few more Christmas items to pick up. So dealing with the shoppers today. That young kid in my neighborhood is back out smoking bowls so there isn't anything I can do. If you told me I had to get sober at 18 I would have told you to go to hell.

friday

Except Drink..

Another day at the office with a ego freak midget boss,. I will probably go to a meeting today because god knows it would be good for me.

life is ok

I went to a phy dude for my middle son, It seems my wife and I are not on the same page. Which really sucks because now we have manipulative kids that get away with every thing. We know have to work harder to hold up the punishment all the way trough the punishment cycle. It was fun and I need to start to improve as a father and a husband..

george

Our economy is left for the birds. At least I haven't drank.

sick

I knew lack of sleep and food would catch up. I feel so sick tonight that I could hardly eat. I am going to get some rest tonight.

The kid that's my neighbor smoked 4 bowls today, he doesn't want sobriety and that sucks.

The lump is a lymph node that is swollen under my arm. I need to get a biopsy at end of the week..

onion layers or wire layers

I guess pulling back the layers can be whatever you want as long something is being pulled back to see the real you. link mato

meeting tonight

Tonight I went a meeting. I feel a lot better because I laughed most of the meeting. I realized that I have lost my laugh for over three weeks. For me if I am not laughing, then I am either isolating or building resentments.

here

I have been busting my ass on several projects that went south on me. My so called assistant but my shit on the back burner and now I am the fall guy for both projects. I was being told that both projects were ok and being ordered, however nothing was being done. I have felt depressed and I was not eating or sleeping. HALT was real and I felt it's effects more than ever. Isolation was the first thing to happen and my attendance at meetings was the second. So here I sit holding on to my sobriety.

here

I have been working my ass off at work. My program has been slipping and I need to keep my program at a higher level.