relax

I was hoping to relax tonight however I have to work on a strategic marketing plan for an opportunity. I am sitting at my sons practice trying to catch up with life.

cool

Man this heat wave has been brutal. The deal is anyone living near the coast probably doesn't have a/c. Temperatures climbed a little to high for no a/c, it felt as though I was in hell. I am an alcoholic so I know what hell is like.

The job offer is back on my plate again and I am beginning to feel like I am playing a ping pong match. I have prayed and I will leave it in the big guys hands for now. Also I am coaching my sons winter baseball team, well assistant coach. It is a start for me.

halt

Let's see daave was right..Hungry: My eating habits almost don't exist. Angry: a little at other people. Lonely: All the time. Tired: Whats not being tired.. Wow, I will start today by eating.. It's easy to forget to look for the signs, but shit I have them all. I think I need a overhaul on my program.

bad results

I went to a meeting tonight and about passed out. I don't know what the deal was but heat and my body don't go well together. I had been out in the sun all day with the boys playing baseball and my body temperature felt like 110 degrees. I was ready to implode all day. On top of it my sleep is still at a minimum..

football 36 to 0

my son's team beat the hell out of Torrey Pines.. Yeah...The video is of him intercepting the football..

catch up

Finally the weekend is here and I can play catch up on my work. I can also catch up to my blog peps. I feel a little stressed with the job thing. I feel it is going south, so oh well. The first football game for my son is tomorrow. I hope he does well or just has fun. The coach is from the barrio so he thinks he is a tough guy. I hope the kids get past his ego and just play the game. Whatever it's out of my hands, for now.

tomorrow job or not

Tomorrow I will find out if this job will meet my requirements. That is financially. I am a little nervous, but ready to get this deal over one way or another. I have been teased with the bone long enough.

My wife is out of town and I am putting the boys to bed. What a day it has been, phoenix in the morning and I flew back this afternoon. I came home just in time for my wife to go to lax airport. She will be in oregon till friday afternoon. Life can be rewarding and draining at the same time. Photo is of my oldest boy in san fran..

phoenix

I am here in phoenix and it is 105 degrees tonight. That's pretty cold out, since last week it was 112 degrees. I meeting in the morning and then Iam out.

life on life

wow life feels crazy as hell for me. the three boys are making me feel like a circus act intead of a father. I just am trying my best to stay focused on being the best dad I can be.. I wish things would slow down just a nano minute.

Sunday

I don't feel like going to a meeting tonight. I have been taking naps all day. I think my body is basically shutting down from the weeks of limited sleep.  I was looking forward to getting more organized at my office. I guess that will have to wait till tomorrow unless I get a second wind.

My youngest boy has the ultimate black eye. It is a shinner that actually shines pretty bright. My middle son pitched him a soccer ball and the bat bounced back and nailed him in the eye. wow..

addiction

It affects everyone in the family and especially the kids.

I have been going nuts about this new job, everything is pointing at take the job. I have been having those god things happen lately. They are freaky and not coincidental. I am happy things are good today.

change

When I was in rehab there was a large american indian who taught me the way to a sober life. He told me one day that when you see a young rabbit it's a sign that you need more patience. The next morning I saw three, so I have been working on it since.

I met for lunch today the person who I would manage at my new job. She was nice, and your typical california hippy. I would be able to work with her so that is a good thing. They are suppose to make an offer next week.

san onfre

This is the best surf spot in southern california. It is also home to san onfre nuke power plant, the dolly parton's of socal. I was driving through there once and it was raining clouds of ash. I wonder if I am glowing.. Wow that is why I drive fast through there..

I am feeling better after the million dollar man kicked me in the balls and then ran away. I will have more opportunities to get million dollar projects as long as I am sober.

dif between men and women

Hell yes there is a big difference between men and women...

practice

I am sitting at my sons soccer practice. He is a free spirited kid, and I enjoy to watch him. My grandfather always said that I was a free spirit, and he told my father not to take that away from me. Shortly after my father broke my spirit.

I lost the millon dollar project, and feel sick about the whole thing. However it wasn't suppose to be. I am happy just to see my son having fun.

hearing bullshit

I went to a meeting tonight and I keep hearing the same bull shit. The people who put themselves on this higher level. The reality is we all have just today, so in a sense I am the same as a newcomer. Even with the tools in the book I can be taken any day from this world of sobriety. I was a every day drinker and it began at 6:00 am so for me each day of sobriety is a gift.

my progress

Maybe I could also track my sobriety on this beta. No I have god doing that for me. We are all looking for progress... The beta is pretty cool. link

soccer sober

Another hot day in socal and the kids were feeling the heat. My son's team won 6 to 1 and so far they are undefeated. My boy is playing the closest to side where I am filming. I don't know to much about soccer, so I don't know the positions. Shit that sounds bad..

shoccer

We have dos soccer games today. That was a little Spanish for the espanola impaired. Football starts in a couple weeks. It will be a nightmare when football starts, because they play all over sd county. Sober today and happy that I got a good start last night on my weekend paperwork. I will show a video later of my sons game with my new video cam see camera

Falling

I feel like I am falling behind in my work. It's just because I am wearing to many hats. My ass has been hurting my sitting viewing spread sheet after spread sheet. I am project managing these jobs that are very large and it feels like they are managing me. Wow it sounds as though I need a meeting, which will come Sunday night. Next week will be lighter so I will have more time to play catch up. asta la vista what ever the hell that means..