Heroin

We had a guy that OD on heroin. He had been struggling to stay sober for years. Working with multiple sponsors in an effort to try to get this thing we call sobriety. Sobriety is a fragile thing that we can lose at anytime and there are no guarantees of staying sober. The only guarantee we will have is a seat in a meeting of alcoholics anonymous.

Mr. T

I sat down down to see what my kids were watching and it was a Mr. T cartoon. This was that old cartoon reject from the 80's. My kids were laughing at the stupid kid talking like Mr. T. Quality time spent sober laughing with my boys. "I pitty the fool who picks up the first drink"

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Waiting Game

I was talking with a friend of mine and he told me he had a problem with alcohol 10 years ago, but now he just drinks a couple. I really have only seen him drunk a couple times in 6 years. Wow I thought that must be nice I would love to be able just to have a couple. I unfortunately need more than just a couple and a couple just wouldn't do it for me. The problem with me is that my disease just waits until I am at a low point and then hits me hard. My life is unmanageable when I drink, so therefore I am grateful I am sober today and for my friend good luck.

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Performancing Metrics

Performancing Metrics

Saturday

No more soccer till fall. I wanted to pick up another meeting for saturday mornings. However my wife wants to work out at the gym 9:00am 9:15am. I am going to have get a early meeting around 7:00am and thank god I am in San Diego where meetings are plentiful. I have been to other cities and the meetings are not as easy to work into your schedule.
Sunday night is my last night as secretary and I will be lacking a commitment. I was thinking about going to the rehab center where I attended and work with people in detox. I think this will be a really good opportunity to give something back.

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Copulator

The shit that people come up with truly amazes me. This guy I guess had blisters on his hands from over use.

My Office

I am going to have to look for a new office. This place was a good one in sobriety. The building is on church property and a blind guy Jim lives upstairs. It is a safe place for me to be at.

Moleskine

I am glad friday is here. I am still trying to organize myself and finally I think Moleskine has got the tool for me. They have a new calendar book that is exactly what I have wanted. I have been searching endlessly for the right system and now it is here. The week is on one side and the notes on the other (to do list). moleskine

Young Son

This is the guy that creates all the havoc in my family. Anything that is going on good or bad, you will find him. He is the one who wants to play every sport and seems to be a natural athlete. I have been playing with him a little more than the other two, because he is the one asking all the time. The other two saw their father drunk, mainly the older one. I feel sad sometimes because of all the shit I caused. I need to try and balance the time I spend with each boy. I am still struggling to be the best father I can to my boys. I sometimes find myself as one of them and that is usually when the problem starts.

Arm This...

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Alcoholic Mind

I am glad that I don't have the cross hairs on me today.

Today Will Soon Pass

I have finally figured out why I have been in this half ass mood. I have been in my head to long so therefore the committee starts talking and the next thing you know your on vacation in your head. It is a very dangerous place to be stuck alone. I was listening to all the bullshit and before I knew it, I felt like the only way to solve my problem was to have a drink. That thought only lasted a few minutes, however the feeling lingered to long for comfort. I need to go to more meetings and stay close to the pack or my ass is going to be shot off.

Lack of Sleep

The job search is not yielding any immediate promises and my ability to get a good night sleep is gone. I feel like a zombie. What scares me is at the meeting (home group) we have had a couple people go out. I don't have enough energy to go out and make it back. I need to go to a meeting and pray to my god for help.

Fathers Day

I don't remember doing something like this when I was drinking, but who knows. I don't remember to many things about my drinking days except for bits and pieces. The one thing I will remember is today's father's day. I was sober today and had fun and had a lot of hugs from my kids. My dad who is still drinking and will die soon from alcoholism did not call. I really don't care that he didn't call me either.

Jobbb??

I am going through a funk on this whole job issue. I made some calls and nothing yet. I really don't believe they know what they are doing. Are they crazy, I am on the market the calls should be flooding in. I should even be getting calls from people who don't know I am looking for a job offering me a job. The problem is that is not real. People have there own agendas and maybe just maybe they might be busy. So I am not on the A-list I will get over it. Once again life on life terms and not mine. I haven't been as fearful because I am sober, however if I was drinking everyone around me would be paying the price for this problem they created for me. Not only would I be miserable but so would everyone else around me. The whole concept of drinking again gives me the chills, nothing good ever came from me drinking.

Over Understanding The Steps

I feel as though I am in a void of Time. Not knowing where to start or qualified to start because of living steps are a type of internship. It’s the amount of time you had addressed and worked in the steps. It also includes big book reading and the amount practice you have applied in the real world. Based upon this method I have 6 years of sobriety.

Can you find Waldo ?

San Fran

My wife is in San Francisco for two days and I am watching my boys. I have bids due tomorrow and the youngest one has a fever. I totally went blank as what to do, which scared the hell out of me. Then it hit thermometer, Motrin, Gatorade and I had it all. I went into action like a pro leaving all doubts behind. He had a fever of 101, so I watched him closely until the Motrin kicked in and the fever went down. I checked on him again and it was still down. It hit me all of a sudden, what if I had been drinking. Well the first thing my wife would have never left. She raised the kids when I was drinking, because for some reason I never had the time. Today I have the time because of a simple program called alcoholics anonymous.

My Job

I have to help create a product that is in the customers mind.

Motivation

I made this for my wife as a joke. I will now be the one waiting.