Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Snoopy and Charlie Browns

Hey, which charlie brown do you like better?

Salt Lake City

I have to fly to Salt Lake City tomorrow for a meeting. I am prepared for the meeting, well I think so.. I hate doubting myself, because it just makes things more difficult. It is like some days you have the mojo and other days you don't have shit. The only thing I can do is pray to god that I will have what it takes tomorrow to get the deal done. It is the whole thing about getting the little man off my neck. I believe if I just get a inch I will be better off. I feel like the dog chasing the rabbit and I just need to catch it once in a while.


30 Boxes Calendar

30 Boxes is a real cool easy to use Calendar. This is a good way to stay organized and is the best calendar I have seen.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Need a Cab in San Francisco

Cab Spoting Man this is totally cool. To bad they don't show the people getting hit by the SF cabs.

Alcoholic Mind

Try to read the words...

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Alcohol vs AA

The promises that alcohol makes are lies. The promises in AA are the truth.

Cake Night

I take my two year cake tonight and my sponsor is giving it to me. I just know I am lucky that I'm sober today and the last two years haven't been easy but my life is truly better. Today I went with my 7 year old son to a birthday party for a classmate of his and we played putt putt golf. I tagged along with my son because he asked me to go with him. That is one of the promises in this simple program; the rewards of living life sober with a god of my understanding and being loved by your family. Milk goes better with cake than coffee...

Saturday, May 27, 2006


My boys are driving me nuts today.... I fixed haloscan for JJ and now everyone in my neighborhood know what a odeo is.. I had my volume up loud "What the Fuck is odeo"...jj

"I have a serious bladder problem."

Man I could have used this when I was drinking, I would have always been on time.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Back in the Water

My 9 year old is bugging me to teach him how to surf. I haven't been in the water for a while, so I am not looking forward to the arm burn from paddling. He really wants this bad so I am getting the boards out this weekend to check for any repair issues. Maybe this will help our relationship grow stronger.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Cool Aids Awareness Video

  • This French AIDS awareness video, wherein a young woman has sex with a variety of unsatisfying partners until finally finding “the one,” has been making the internet rounds of late. At first I thought it was awful progressive that one of the young lady’s suitors is a black man—progressive, that is, until the stereotyping begins…
  • Back from Vegas (hell)

    I am back from sin city and I am sober. For someone like me that is a miracle.

    Wednesday, May 24, 2006

    still in VEGAS

    I have made it through today being a sober person in a drunk city.I give the credit to alcoholics anonymous and god. This year seemed much more managable than last year. Why because of belief in a program and god. My life has never been better.

    Sunday, May 21, 2006


    Thank god for the blackberry the wifi is down at the hotel I am staying at the Wynn hotel and the place is unbelievable. The have a plasa tv in the bedroom and the bathroom. However my demon lurks in the minibar and the casino below. I loved to come here when I was drinking and its no wonder. Free alcohol was the key for me and it didn't matter how much I lost. The casinos where my higher power, no actually alcohol was. I am sober today and I don't need to waste my families money.

    Saturday, May 20, 2006

    MIA ty HP

    Scott W. Where the fuck are you?????


    I am sitting here at the airport way to early(2 hours prior to flight). I guess it is just my comfort zone. I am a little anxious about seeing my boss. I just don't know how he is going to act and Iam struggling to stay on my side of the street. I have to keep the gratitude infront of the feelings of poor me. I have to keep trying to put my trust (full trust) in god. I always seem to take the controls away from god and by doing so my world turns to shit. I am giving it back to now and hopefully that where it will stay.

    Friday, May 19, 2006

    Working Parents

    My wife and I are both working now and we are scrambling for: -Finances -Family time -Business time -Personal time -Together time.... Just any time....

    Thursday, May 18, 2006

    Las Vegas for a Convention

    I will be in Las Vegas for a convention and I have my big book (5 1/2" x 8"), my phone list and a meeting schedule printed as well as on pdf  for my blackberry. This has always been the hardest time of the year for me because as you know Las Vegas is a city with few if any morals. This was my sobriety testing ground last year and will be the same for this year. My boss (salary cutter) and friends will be gambling and getting drunk. I on the other hand can't gamble from lack of funds and can't drink for lack of tolerance. I know when I get on that plane Saturday morning the circus will be starting. I will just have to stay close to god and my friends in Alcoholics Anonymous.

    Powered by Qumana

    10 Things You Don't Need

    I damn sure don't need any of these 10 things. -Smoking baby -Silk Marajuna Plants -Custom Painting of You as Mona Lisa -......

    Qumana Sucks

    If you can't view the post below than you know Qumana sucks. This program seems to operate ok on the desk top, however anything beyond is the land of bugs.

    Wednesday, May 17, 2006

    I Feel Real

    The first year I didn't always do the program the right way. However what I did do right was not to take a drink. We have to  adapt to our life as sober. We have to learn to live life on life's terms. This means you have to do what ever is necessary to stay on the program of Alcoholic's Anonymous. 

      by Qumana

    2 Years TODAY

    Man, I have a lot of gratitude today for God, Alcoholics Anonymous and My Sponsor. I never thought I could make it this long, but today I am 2 years and my life is so much better. Today I am part of the solution and not the problem. My wife and kids whom I thought I had lost are today by my side. How did I do it? I just didn't fucking drink one day at a time. I did the 90 meetings in ninety days. I went to meetings and got commitments. I talked with my sponsor everyday and called other alcoholic's. I did what was asked of me from my sponsor. I kept it simple and learned to laugh at myself. Today I like who I am. Thanks....

    Tuesday, May 16, 2006

    Alien vs The Virgin of Guadalupe

    Flickr user Baikinange has this neat pic of a Mexican man’s ex voto(a votive offering to a diety, given for the fulfillment of a wish) to the Virgin of Guadalupe, for saving him from alien abduction.

    Monday, May 15, 2006

    What In The Fuck are you looking at?

    I use to have the attitude of fuck them when people use to look at me when I was drinking. Do you want a part of me, I will fuck you up, I can drink you under the table any day etc. I use to really believe that people wanted to be like me a big and tough drinker. I expect when looking back at it now they probaly said, I hope that guy will be ok, It is sad to him that way, I hope the kids are ok. I don't ever want to be that drunk person again, however I only have today.

    Friday, May 12, 2006

    Step 2

    Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85 The Daily Reprieve. For me, when I was drinking I was mad at everything that went against my drinking including going to church and spending time with my family were the ones that loved me and they were the ones that simply got in my way. They were the ones that tried to get me to look at myself, however the person in the mirror wasn't me it was alcohol. I didn't have room for anything or anyone else in my life, but alcohol. Today I have room for god and family in my life and anyone else who takes the time to get to know me. Today the obsession doesn't have the power god does.

    Thursday, May 11, 2006

    Unrealistic Expectation

    We all have them, but sometimes they cause us to drink.

    Wednesday, May 10, 2006

    My Resentments

    Every time I end up with a resentment, I usually act like a baby. Wow, how many resentments do I really have???

    Too Mas Meetings

    For me too many meetings means less time I spend being a husband and father. Its a program that teaches us to grow up and be responsible. To become a member in society,and to face our fears. I have heard a lot of people say that their family is their sober friends. They attend meeting 24/7 and when you call them, the spouse says they are with AA friends or at a meeting in a sad voice. The spouses and children need to be part of our sober foundation. They are part of our recovery and if neglected than our program will become neglected.

    Tuesday, May 09, 2006

    Sex Food

    Out of Order


    This was my story, when I was drinking I didn't want anyone to get in my way. I would like to drink with others in the beginning and by myself towards the end. I just didn't really need anyone except my bottle.

    Condom Device

    Site is in Russian, but it seems to be unmistakable. This is a device for putting on a condom. Without getting sticky fingers from touching neither the condom nor the penis in question. It is very similar to what they use at the hospital for circumcisions.

    What Number

    I wasn't sure who to call today, because I felt a little down from the whole job gig. I was "thinking", which is most of my problem. However I was thinking that people where trying to avoid me, because of fearing that they to may get bad juju. That is how my mind works and if I don't give it to my higher power it will sit in my head. That is where a lot of misinformation happens and resentments build quickly.

    Monday, May 08, 2006

    Gas Prices

    What is going on with gas pricing. Instead of looking for one job I have to get a 2nd job, just to pay for the fuel costs to the first job. All I know is GW is getting rich out of the deal. I would like to take $42.00 of gas and pump it up his ass. That's what I paid today to fill my tank..

    Saturday, May 06, 2006

    It could be worse

    After I woke up this morning I didn't get sick. I ended up taking my sons to their soccer games. No matter how much my ass feels like falling off I just can't drink. I have to do this on a daily basis. I accomplished it today by waking up praying to the god of my choice. I thanked him to his grace followed by my daily reprieve. I have tough times ahead, but they will just get worse by drinking. Today I am ok with not drinking just for today.

    Friday, May 05, 2006

    Step Study

    I love going to step study when we are on step one. Step one is the only step you need to do perfect. I started out as a weekend drinker and I did that well for awhile. Then Monday Night Football came and added another day of drinking. I began drinking during the 4 final days by celebrating for things I accomplished and then for things I that I didn't accomplish. The reasons and excuses became so many that I ended up just drinking everyday to survive. I couldn't make it with out alcohol in me for all the right reasons it cured my sweating, shaking, fears, self-esteem, loneliness,etc. That lasted for too long and I began to start dying physically and spiritually. The cure became my destructor and I knew it, but I just couldn't seem to stop drinking. I finally ended up in a long tail spin destroying everything I came in touch with. The day it ended I couldn't get down the first drink at 5:30 am, because my hands where shaking to much. That day I ended up in detox and stayed for 4 days. I then went into a 28 1/2 day program that was attached to detox. My wife had signed my admittance papers to the rehab center. I had signed my rights away in detox. It was there I began to learn how unmanageable my life was and that I am powerless over alcohol. Oh yeah, I am an alcoholic.

    Head Up Others Asses

    I was getting a little irritated with everyone I work with today, because it is the incompetence that have driven us into this situation, however mainly the midget. I remembered finally to stay on my side of the street and focus on what I needed to get done. I felt a lot better after I prayed and call another alcoholic. I need to keep what I am grateful for close by, so that I don't forget.

    For What it's Worth

    “Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!” - Dr. Bob, The Doctor’s Nightmare, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 181 “For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never forsake you.’” - Hebrews 13:5

    Thursday, May 04, 2006

    Is it Worth Running in the Rain?

    It seems that as soon as rain starts to fall, people speed up their pace. There could be many reasons for this but one is the expectation that by running - or at least walking faster - they will arrive drier at their destination. The physics needed to analyze this presumption covers many topics from your introductory course: kinematics, relative velocity, terminal velocity, flux and vector components to name a few. Don't Get Wet

    Life on Lifes Terms

    A midget has thrown a boulder on my world and I am still pissed off. I have prayed about him cutting my salary and insurance, however I am still angry. Having resentments are a reason for drinking, however for me it won't be today. I get to take my 9 year old son to soccer practice. blackberry post eagency

    Pig Pod PDA

    * A Moleskine hack. * An extreme Moleskine hack. * A simplified GTD system (What system? See our GTD Introduction), with relatively little actual organising. May be useful if you fancy Doing GTD Without Doing GTD. * A complete personal management system for those who’s needs aren’t too complicated. * A rather over-the-top system for dealing with just the capturing and processing end of GTD. pig pod 43 folders

    Wednesday, May 03, 2006

    Open Door

    I believe the door will open for me soon. I have a stronger belief in my higher power than a year ago as well as stronger program in AA and for that I am grateful. If I had to look for a job a year ago I don't think I would be able to deal with the fear. Today I am strong and 15 days from 2 years of sobriety. My wife and kids are surrounding me with support and love. Who would have thought..

    Tuesday, May 02, 2006

    What The Fuck

    My boss cut my salary in half and dissolved our company insurance. We were just getting by with my full salary. This was not expected and he said it was effective immediately. You can't support a family on half of my salary. I have been working on updating my resume, and contacting all the people that can help. My sponsor asked me if I felt like drinking and I said yes, however the urge didn't last long. This is the result of God and Alcohlolics Anonymous. Sometimes the winds of life change directions and we have to make adjustments in order to fill our sails again.......