Saturday, February 28, 2009

2:00 AM

Wow I am working my ass off and hopefully the pay day will be soon. I think there are a lot of cool ideas that I will be bringing market. This is the happest I have been in many years. We have no money, but thats ok.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

head hurts

What is going on with me is that I am going nuts with lack of sleep. I am trying to get my green company up and rolling as well as working out an exit strategy with the company I am working for now. The company that I am working for are a bunch of pricks and a midget for the boss. I was the doormat that the big book warns about not being. I have changed and became stronger and I wont lay down anymore.

My boss is just a few inches taller than the cowboys in the video. Jack in The box commercial

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Men Vs Women

men vs women differences

We had my wife's birthday party tonight and of course our friend with the 2 1/2' vodka bottle was here tonight. She has almost finished it and as she left I told her she should chug it. She looked at me strange because she knows my story well. They couldn't keep up to me when I was drinking. The others were drunk too and laughing at shit I had no clue what about.

The alcohol around me with our friends does not bother me because they are normal and drink only once in a while. Plus I like to fuck with them. I think the only way I will drink again is if I hijack a Heineken truck and drive it into the desert were I could be alone to enjoy my cargo.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I am going to be happy about when I blog about being free of the little man. I need to be free soon.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


I am feeling good about the desire to drink has left me for today. It like is to take me out at my weak times.

The economic times plays havoc with my sobriety and this is all just a result of fear. That's why in the 3rd step you need to give all this over to someone and that person is GOD. I have been in the program for almost 5 years and I still take these problems back from god, because at the time I believe I am the one that needs to take care of it.

I think it is from the lack of my faith with god. He has let me down in the past so I don't want to put to much on his plate because it may not get done to my satisfaction. This is work in progress and takes time but as long as keep praying and going to meeting, there will come a time when I give my fears to god and never take them back.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines Day

HAPPY VALENTINES PEEPS. Stay sober through this day of love.

I love surreal art and this guy is one of the ultimate artists. I use to paint a lot when I was drinking but I haven't picked up a brush since I have been sober. Surrealist Artist Ladis Lavguderna.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


When I was a kid I did drugs and shop lifted. They go hand in hand. Your stealing your soul by doing drugs so stealing from others becomes inconsequential. I never went to jail, which is a good thing.

I had a pretty good day hitting the streets in Los Angeles. I have been trying to get my green stuff off the ground and it is well received. I just need orders please..

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

dead sober

I have been talking with a guy in the program who has a great life with kids and a good wife yet he wants to throw it all away on drinking. It is the same story and it is truly sad. The person reasoning is fear of the uncertainty. I told the person that life is full of uncertainty and the only thing I can do for certain is not to drink today.


I have been riding a storm of resentments toward by boss. I know he is an asshole however I am not going to drink over his sorry ass. So I need to pass it on to my higher power.. right! Its a bitch though because I want to take it back so bad.

Once I can get out of this financial insecurity I am going to take a long vacation.

Monday, February 09, 2009

drunk bastard

When I was drinking I had a lot of fun times, but these times quickly ended as I drank more. The day finally came when I was drinking alone everyday and my world became darker.

I went to bible study tonight and it felt great. The closer I get to god my world becomes a more manageable place. I am not all the way there yet with god, so when I feel the connection its special.

Saturday, February 07, 2009


I need laughter in my life because it helps take away pain.


This little girl will be in AA in her time.

crank down

I think one more turn from my boss on my patience is all I have left. I am doing my best to bite my tongue however his condescending attitude is enough to push me over the edge.

My wife and kids went over to a freinds house. I was left alone at home so I decided to play city of heros until they came home. It is a great computer game to waste time and to keep me out of your head. A meeting would have been better but I am tired.

Friday, February 06, 2009

fuck little man

My resentments torwards my boss are pileing up on a daily basis. He has found things to screw with me on and I am ready to knock his head.

I need to give him less power over me in my life and give some back to god.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009


I am flying on a sober high at least for today. I have made it through the storm and I haven't had a drink.

The president of our company is truly an evil man, he has screwed me out of money time after time but it is my fault for working for him. I fear change and when it finds me I want to drink . I have been praying for unclouded thoughts with a clear direction.

Sunday, February 01, 2009


Falling Times is an everlasting and growing real-time news translation machine .

I have been in the dumps because my crooked boss put me on 100% commission and that sucks. I have 3 boys and a wife to feed. He is an asshole but its my fault for working for a crook.