Monday, December 07, 2009

Bible Study

Bible study is the other thing I am doing that I typically wouldn't do if it was left up to me. However I take direction from my sponsor and I am glad that I do because my spiritual side needs help.

The photo is of my boys and I thank god for them. They are a gift.

Sunday, December 06, 2009


Let me rephrase that sometimes at the party's people sit in corners and it is not fun. However last night was great and on top of it there were 4 birthdays. It was a lot of laughs and for a guy like me laughter is good.

Look for me there are thousands of reasons on why not to go to a meeting or party. I just need to go because when I do my expectations are never correct and I end up enjoying the meeting or party.

Saturday, December 05, 2009


AA Christmas party tonight and I am going alone. It will be fun however I can not stay to long. They say we are not a glum lot, but a lot of times these type of party's are boring and clickish.

Friday, December 04, 2009


I am doing good hit a meeting last night. I still find it easy to get a resentment. Some people came in last night late and walked right in front of the person speaking. I was pissed and didn't hear the rest of the meeting.

I miss blogging but right now I have 3 jobs. One company I own, one company I have equity in and the other I am consultant in sort of.. = 0 hours in the day.

Monday, November 16, 2009


Wow I have been busting ass on my new company and hitting meetings and a bible study class. I am doing the things I don't want to do, it helps keep me sober.

I have seen a lot of people die in 5 1/2 years and that is what the reality is for me if I decide to have a drink. I need to blog more because it helps me keep it real.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

clean living

Simple clean living just like that

Watching the kids while the wife is at a funeral in NY.

Saturday, September 05, 2009


When I am feeling alone I go to a meeting. It is the place were I can feel some comfort.

My son's soccer game always makes me feel good. I like to see him running around and enjoying himself. They tied one game and lost a game to a team that is in a higher level. It is all cool though.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


Wow it is so hot here in Southern California. My son's soccer game yesterday was played when the temperature was 105 degrees. They were all almost collapsing from the heat by the end of the game. We lost too which made it feel hotter.

I helped clean the house yesterday as well as organize it and I feel better. It is amazing to me that I can feel so much better being organized. Organization is part of my program believe it or not.

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Hey thanks Scot for the comment.I have been busting my ass on my new company and it is a virtual time sucker. I have not wavered in my program. I love this picture because it is what the reality is if I try to stay sober alone.

My son has a soccer game today and I am excited. I love to watch him play because he enjoys it so much. The other 2 were playing football and due to a scandal evolving a couple coaches the season wont happen for them as well as the other kids. The coaches have big egos and decided to hold practices early despite league rules. These coaches are assholes and the odds are they really never played high school or college football.

I need to stay with the blogging because writing this somehow made me feel good.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


Life has been in session with me lately. I have been busy setting up a new company and trying to keep my marriage and program together. I am lacking in both areas and feeling like I can not do it all.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

love and tolerance

Wow love and tolerance is what I need to remember at meetings. It is easy for me to get a resentment.

Life is crazy my deadline is coming for my website so I am pushing as hard as I can to make the date.

Friday, June 05, 2009


I was pissed off at my oldest because I thought he took my Ipod. I was acting like the old behavior which was not good. I have to watch myself because I am quick to judge and 95% of the time I am wrong.

The boys have their soccer games tomorrow and pop warner football is starting soon. Running back and forth all Saturday is getting old quick.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


This website is driving me nuts. There is some much to do and I am even having problems picking colors aaahhh. I need to move on so I sent it to some of my designer friends. The more I can deligate the better I will be. Some things need to go to god other things need to go to people who know what they are doing.

I need to go to a meeting today or tomorrow..

Monday, May 25, 2009


Wow there is something about silent films!!

We went to a party today at some friends house. There where 5 couples there and they were all drinking. Man its hard when it was a hot day and you have to watch your friends drink ice cold beer. I was bumming a little bit but I soon got over it because I went home.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

peter pan is real

I thought Peter Pan was made of only fairy tales. Peter Pans Blog

I went to my meeting tonight and it was just ok. I was just there in body and sometimes that has got to be good enough. I have to much shit going on in my mind.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

F the hard drive

The hard drive will cost $1689.00, so screw that I will deal with the missing data somehow some way. I still have some work re-doing multiple spreadsheets, but again whatever. I need to move on. This kind of shit is what I would drink about.

I want to go to the beach tomorrow but the townies will be packing it because of the holiday. So maybe I will be hanging out at the house.

Friday, May 22, 2009


I have been trying to eat healthier. I really believe that a healthy body creates a healthy mind. It all about eat good feel good.

I am picking up hopefully my recovered data this morning.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

5 years

Well I have 5 years of sobriety which is truly amazing. I did it by not drinking or using one day at a time. I have a lot of fears now in my life but I am working through them by praying and going to meetings.

I am trying to get this new biz off the ground and it has been hard. My hard drive crashed and it sucks. I have to pay a shit load of money to get the data recovered.. Back up back up..

Sunday, May 10, 2009


So Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers peeps out there.. This is a big day for all the mothers, I went out and got a bialy for my wife its a NY thing. They are hard to find in southern California.

I have to clean the house today because that's what the wife wants for MD. Having three boys makes cleaning the house a big chore.

Saturday, May 09, 2009


Easter sucked I resigned from my job. I could not take the boss any more, because he is an a-hole. So I am busting my ass trying to get my new company off the ground and it is taking way longer than I thought. I have been working insane hours trying to cut the timeline down. I have been praying for god's intervention.

My boys are doing really good and the spring sports are sucking up time from me, but time with them is golden. They are all I have in this world.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I have this virus chasing my ass around for several days. I have a big meeting this Friday and I have to be at the top of my game. So I need to shake this virus.

No drama today so I am cool.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

yard work

Well I completed my tasks today in the yard and didn't end up drinking over it. I had to re-seed in areas because of my female lab that likes to pee on each square foot of grass. She is a fat lazy dog but she stayed with me while I was drinking. She actually caught most of my verbal abuse because she she couldn't talk back. That was only sometimes because I swear she talked after a couple bottles of crown royal.

I am getting ready to go to bed because I have been staying up way to late.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

if i drink

If I decide to pick up that first bottle it wont end till I am at the toilet passed out. There will also be several empty bottles near by. Even though the BB says pick up the first drink that 1st drink doesn't have to be from a glass.

I am cleaning the house today per my wife's instructions as well as fixing up the back yard by planting flowers and seeding the grass. Doing chores like these keep me out of my head till a meeting.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

working on a name

I am working on a name for my company "green company". I am hoping to make a change in my life as well as to change the way we use materials.

I am still with the little man but I am getting ready to make my break. He has been a bitch to me. He has cut off my company credit card while I am traveling leaving me to pick up the expenses. I can't afford to do this again. I have been going to meetings and praying so that is good.

Sunday, March 15, 2009


I went to a meeting tonight and that was good because I needed it badly. I have a lot going on in my life and I need to be prepared to face my fears. The only steps I know how to take in fighting my fears are through AA and God.. Wow it is that simple..

GOOD + Friendly Iran?

Iran: the friendliest people in the world Beaming smiles, gel and a joke about lavatory brushes and weapons of mass destruction - Iran overturns all expectations

I am doing ok... just waiting for Monday to be over. That is the day when everything will get nasty between me and my boss. Meetings and Praying are all I can do for now. I am really thankful for GOD and AA, because the alternative would be so much worse.

Friday, March 13, 2009

fear is back

I have been battling my boss for my job and it has been a nightmare. I was slapped on 100% commish and that is not good when you have a family. So I have been scrambling trying get my new project up and running.

I have been praying hard and keeping one foot in front of the other.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

2:00 AM

Wow I am working my ass off and hopefully the pay day will be soon. I think there are a lot of cool ideas that I will be bringing market. This is the happest I have been in many years. We have no money, but thats ok.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

head hurts

What is going on with me is that I am going nuts with lack of sleep. I am trying to get my green company up and rolling as well as working out an exit strategy with the company I am working for now. The company that I am working for are a bunch of pricks and a midget for the boss. I was the doormat that the big book warns about not being. I have changed and became stronger and I wont lay down anymore.

My boss is just a few inches taller than the cowboys in the video. Jack in The box commercial

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Men Vs Women

men vs women differences

We had my wife's birthday party tonight and of course our friend with the 2 1/2' vodka bottle was here tonight. She has almost finished it and as she left I told her she should chug it. She looked at me strange because she knows my story well. They couldn't keep up to me when I was drinking. The others were drunk too and laughing at shit I had no clue what about.

The alcohol around me with our friends does not bother me because they are normal and drink only once in a while. Plus I like to fuck with them. I think the only way I will drink again is if I hijack a Heineken truck and drive it into the desert were I could be alone to enjoy my cargo.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I am going to be happy about when I blog about being free of the little man. I need to be free soon.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


I am feeling good about the desire to drink has left me for today. It like is to take me out at my weak times.

The economic times plays havoc with my sobriety and this is all just a result of fear. That's why in the 3rd step you need to give all this over to someone and that person is GOD. I have been in the program for almost 5 years and I still take these problems back from god, because at the time I believe I am the one that needs to take care of it.

I think it is from the lack of my faith with god. He has let me down in the past so I don't want to put to much on his plate because it may not get done to my satisfaction. This is work in progress and takes time but as long as keep praying and going to meeting, there will come a time when I give my fears to god and never take them back.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines Day

HAPPY VALENTINES PEEPS. Stay sober through this day of love.

I love surreal art and this guy is one of the ultimate artists. I use to paint a lot when I was drinking but I haven't picked up a brush since I have been sober. Surrealist Artist Ladis Lavguderna.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


When I was a kid I did drugs and shop lifted. They go hand in hand. Your stealing your soul by doing drugs so stealing from others becomes inconsequential. I never went to jail, which is a good thing.

I had a pretty good day hitting the streets in Los Angeles. I have been trying to get my green stuff off the ground and it is well received. I just need orders please..

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

dead sober

I have been talking with a guy in the program who has a great life with kids and a good wife yet he wants to throw it all away on drinking. It is the same story and it is truly sad. The person reasoning is fear of the uncertainty. I told the person that life is full of uncertainty and the only thing I can do for certain is not to drink today.


I have been riding a storm of resentments toward by boss. I know he is an asshole however I am not going to drink over his sorry ass. So I need to pass it on to my higher power.. right! Its a bitch though because I want to take it back so bad.

Once I can get out of this financial insecurity I am going to take a long vacation.

Monday, February 09, 2009

drunk bastard

When I was drinking I had a lot of fun times, but these times quickly ended as I drank more. The day finally came when I was drinking alone everyday and my world became darker.

I went to bible study tonight and it felt great. The closer I get to god my world becomes a more manageable place. I am not all the way there yet with god, so when I feel the connection its special.

Saturday, February 07, 2009


I need laughter in my life because it helps take away pain.


This little girl will be in AA in her time.

crank down

I think one more turn from my boss on my patience is all I have left. I am doing my best to bite my tongue however his condescending attitude is enough to push me over the edge.

My wife and kids went over to a freinds house. I was left alone at home so I decided to play city of heros until they came home. It is a great computer game to waste time and to keep me out of your head. A meeting would have been better but I am tired.

Friday, February 06, 2009

fuck little man

My resentments torwards my boss are pileing up on a daily basis. He has found things to screw with me on and I am ready to knock his head.

I need to give him less power over me in my life and give some back to god.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009


I am flying on a sober high at least for today. I have made it through the storm and I haven't had a drink.

The president of our company is truly an evil man, he has screwed me out of money time after time but it is my fault for working for him. I fear change and when it finds me I want to drink . I have been praying for unclouded thoughts with a clear direction.

Sunday, February 01, 2009


Falling Times is an everlasting and growing real-time news translation machine .

I have been in the dumps because my crooked boss put me on 100% commission and that sucks. I have 3 boys and a wife to feed. He is an asshole but its my fault for working for a crook.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Rush Limbaugh

Under the make up Rush Limbaugh shows signs of years of drug abuse. He is a addict looking for a fix. If he stayed off the pills long enough maybe he would have clear thoughts not irrational. He truly lives in his own wacky world.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Super Bowl Ad Ban

I swear I love Peta. I am ok same old shit though.

Monday, January 26, 2009

green toliet paper rolls

Wow this is a cool photo. Its for recycling toilet paper rolls. I have been into the recycling culture for several years now. Being in that environment makes makes me feel passion again.

Back at fighting with the wife and I am getting tired of opening my fat mouth. I am the ultimate button pusher and I need to stop.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


Well the boys are sitting out on baseball this season. It was their decisions so that makes it final. My hopes for a baseball star in my family is fading. 2 boys want to play football and 1 wants to play soccer.
I was pushed into baseball and football as a kid and I ended up hating both sports. I played it in high school but it wasn't out the love for the sport. I ended up taking it out on the field which had a good result but my heart wasn't there mainly for football.
I am letting my boys make their own decisions on what they want to do in sports and then I will be behind them 100%.
Thanks Daave for getting my emotions running this morning.. lol

Saturday, January 24, 2009


Obama rocks and I am glad he is president. GW can go hide in his bunker now. I am feeling pretty good today. Last night I went to a jazz bar with my wife and friends and we had a cool time. I was the only sober one but that was ok because I had a lot of fun. You know living sober is the only way I can survive in this world and it requires God and meetings.

Friday, January 23, 2009

see you bitch

Bush needs to be charged for war crimes.

I am working my ass off and I am seeing results. This is a good thing.

Sunday, January 18, 2009


I am ok. I was just keeping in my head to long. I am out now going to meetings talking to program people and everything is back to where I need to be.

Friday, January 09, 2009


I feel as if all my thoughts are spinning in my head. I have soooo much shit going on. I talked with a couple program people tonight in an effort to gather my thoughts. All I heard was meeting, meeting and meeting.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009


All the new designs seem more simplistic. One thing that hasn't changed in AA is keeping it simple. A couple guys in my group went out and the results were no differnt. They have been keeping this thing called soberity not sacred. I am going with another brother to take one of them to the airport. We are flying him to a treatment center since all have been exhausted here.

one drink + one alcholic = death