Tuesday, April 25, 2006
I don't do the whole drunk talk lingo unless I am exhausted. When I am tired my wife things I have been out at a local bar. I also don't yell at her and try to spin everything as her fault. I am just so mellow when I am tired and people assume I had been hitting the bowl. All that drunk talk is your tired, lonely, hungry, or stuck in your head.
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Monday, April 24, 2006
Some days I wish someone would call me and ask how I am doing. The waiting seems to push me further into isolation. There are times when I don't want to make the effort, because I feel so tired. When I was drinking I was in permanent isolation, because I didn't need or want anyone. Now that I am sober it has become a need, which I can only fill if I pick up the phone.
The PocketMod is a new way to keep yourself organized. Lets face it, PDAs are too expensive and cumbersome, and organizers are bulky and hard to carry around. Nothing beats a folded up piece of paper. That is until now. With the PocketMod, you can carry around the days notes, keep them organized in any way you wish, then easily transfer the notes to your PDA, spreadsheet, or planner. pocket-mod
-set aside 10 minutes, each and every day -have pen and paper handy -allow yourself the freedom to think crazy thoughts -don’t worry if nothing really productive springs to mind right away -periodically scan over your notes from these sessions as things may pop into your mind after they have “marinated” for a while -if no ideas pop into your head pick a fun topic and doodle a bit -use word association to get things rolling if you feel stuck e.g. thinking -> thoughts -> mind -> brainstorm -> brain rain Though this approach may not seem original, putting time in your life for original thought (not prompted by daily needs, TV, or work) really is unique. I know it sounds silly and I know it sounds corny but don’t run around on autopilot all the time and then bemoan that fact that you have no “good” ideas. The truth is ideas themselves are neither good nor bad. But thinking is certainly good and not thinking is absolutely bad. Medium Pimping
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Geeks.com is selling the world’s first digital “e-plant”. What makes this a digital plant? This bean plant sprouts with binary “01001011″ and “@” characters on its leaves. Not very exciting, but if you have an extra $3.99 to spare, this plant might be something cool for your living room. “With the Genica e-plant, the leaves are fractal enabled and the stem comes with built-in feature creep. Buy multiple units and align them in series or parallel in order to activate the e-plants version of hyper-threading.” [Source]
Saturday, April 22, 2006
This guy who went to the same rehab center that I did, overdosed on heroin. We didn't communicate much after rehab, however his norme brother called me to let me know. I really wasn't shocked, because he could never keep a sponsor or higher power for long. I felt like I should have called him more after I got out, but I was scared and didn't want go back to drinking. I felt like I needed to get this program and strengthen my spirituality before I could help others. I am sober today and wished I called him.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
WASHINGTON - President Bush and Chinese President Hu Jintao agreed to cooperate more closely on trade and nuclear tensions over Iran and North Korea but failed to break new ground Thursday toward resolving a host of differences. Their meeting was marred by a protest. The protestors were chanting for more U.S. natural resouces and more free technolgy. WAIT HOLD ON I THOUGHT GW (former alcoholic) DIDN'T DRINK.. NOW I KNOW WHY OUR ECONOMY SUCKS
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
A guy goes in a store and asks for an Inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?" Customer says, "Female" Counter guy asks, "Black or white?" Customer says, "White" Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?" Customer says, "What does religion have to do with it?" Counter guy says, "The Muslim blows itself up." post: ty rex
Monday, April 17, 2006
Bible study has given me the opportunity to read a book for an hour a week, which would not be opened otherwise. I am working to strengthen my relationship with god and the person who is holding up the progress is me. I like to grab the controls away from time to time and the same bad results always happen. The bible study helps keep the controls out of my hands and allows my life to move towards being centered. The center is a daily struggle for me and most of the time I am either at the bottom or the top. Finally it is just someone's house, where you can feel his presence.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
I am not singling anyone for potentially making money by blogging the idea has crossed my mind like many other bloggers. I really don't know the answer to this, because Bill and Bob are dead. Having spoke with many people in the program the idea of advertising on blog that mentions AA seems to be a fine line. Majority of the people seem to be ok with the idea, however the hardcore crowd aren't so understanding. Examples of Sponsored Tags: Conquer Alcoholism. Quit Drinking Easily Secret Quit Techniques That Work Even if Everything Else Failed. Quit Drinking Quickly - Easily - Today - Forever. www.nomoreaddiction.com Drug and Alcohol Rehab Treatment Program Free information, resources and links to drug and alcohol abuse treatment centers, drug abuse and alcohol rehab options and centers. www.globalonlinesvcs.com Sobriety Find Deals on sobriety and other Apparel at DealTime. Choose from millions of deals. Save time and money every time you shop. www.dealtime.com I posted this to hopefully answer a question that has been bothering me.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Word of the Day for Saturday, April 15, 2006 land of Nod, noun: sleep We were fast going off to the land of Nod, when - bang, bang, bang - on the scuttle, and "All hands, reef topsails, ahoy!" started us out of our berths. -- Richard Henry Dana Jr., Two Years Before The Mast For the jet-lagged insomniac, here are a few suggestions of what to do in Manhattan once the last bar has chucked you out and the land of nod seems further away than the night bus to Camberwell. -- William Hide, "The night shift", The Guardian, February 24, 2001
Friday, April 14, 2006
If you are the thrifty, crafty, type why not follow these simple instructions and create your own bra from a plastic bag? This bra can be used for men as part of a party costume for instance. You will need scissors, sticky tape and some stuffing. The plastic bag, ideally, will be similar in size to one found at any supermarket. Make sure it is reasonably flexible and comes fitted with handles. If you can find one featuring interesting colors or patterns, so much the better. You can even paint a plain one. Please note that standard white plastic bags can be a little 'see-through', so it will pay to check your appearance in a mirror before venturing outdoors. Make sure you keep the plastic bags out of the reach of small children. Follow these instructions.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Wow this city has sobriety. I went to a meeting near downtown. The meeting was a step study and was one of the best meetings I have attended. There was this woman who spoke at the podium and went through each step and what it had meant to her. We had similarities in how we lived our lives and how we delayed on the steps. She made sense in my avoidance to to move on through the steps and helped clear some of the problems. I thanked her after the meeting for giving me some insight on the steps. One of the things she said is that "I am either filled with god or filled with alcohol" which I liked and haven't heard before. JJ. There is only a few meetings I have been to that allows smoking in the meeting and Dallas and Denver are the tops. The main differences from each city is in the format; the clapping, greeting of the newcomers and the visitors during the meeting. Some meetings don't ask who are the newcomers or visitors. The rest of the format stays pretty close.
Yesterday I met with a client and found out we lost the 3rd big job. That was 3 strikes for me I was out. I felt like fighting anyone that would challenge me. I also felt devastated and quickly casted the blame on myself and god. I felt like having a drink, but not as a answer to the problem only a relief. I spoke with my sponsor and he pointed out it was not my fault. I felt a lot of the pressure was taken off. I had to fly into Dallas and prayed alot at the airport. On the plane this guy sat next to me and I could tell he was in the program with the choice of words he used. I felt it was god's way of telling me that it was alright. I didn't get to my hotel room till real late and I was exhausted. I got up this morning at 6:30am to prepare for my meeting at 8:00 am. It was a really good meeting and I was feeling better and my 11:30am lunch presentation went ok. I was ok, and still sober and with a god in my life.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Alcoholism is alive and active in every city I go. Everyone has the same story in a general way, we all are trying to stay sober. It was a pretty good meeting there was about 22 people. We all shared about the third step "How we have come to know a power greater than ourselves". It wasn't hard for me, because I just couldn't be god nor could alcohol anymore. I was tired of trying over and over again of mismanaging my life. There was no progress what so ever, just the fact that the little boy was growing older. I turn my life over to god on a daily basis only and that seems to work for me.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God's love; I was alone no more." letter written by Bill W., 1962 AS BILL SEES IT, page 51
I just got to my hotel in Boulder and I am tired. I was amazing that I didn't have a desire to drink on the plane because everyone around me was drinking beer and mixed drinks. I use to order 3 to 4 everytime the flight attendant would ask do you want a drink. I basically got sick of waiting for them to get back for the next round. This guy across from me ordered 3 beers at on time. I just started laughing because that was me. I will save a seat for him. Once at the hotel I did have a slight desire to have just one, A gin and tonic double. But as I have learned from the past it will not end at just one. So I walked past the sports bar and up room. I will go to bed today having been sober.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
My kids are the cause of our $490.00 electric bill. Lights left on, gamecube left on, the two computers left on, and play station left on I can't take it anymore. The neighbors might as well plug into my outdoor outlets and use our electricity as well. I need to get a handle on this other wise I will move my family to a clay adobe hut with no electricity or running water. Idea, I will get a timer that shuts off the electricity to specific outlets at certain times that should solve the problem. What's bizarre is we don't have A/C or a pool and mostly gas appliances.
Friday, April 07, 2006
I just felt like eating by myself tonight. Everyone was talking and a quiet dinner wasn't happening. When I was a kid we never spoke at the dinner table. We simply just were not allowed. Now it seems like it is a race to get done, so my kids can go back to what they were doing playing computer games, playstation, game cube, x box, tv or reading a book. I didn't care if they were hanging up side down from the ceiling when I was drinking. The problem is I had no rules when I was drinking only threats. Since I am sober now, I thought I could just start fresh with new rules or my laws. It didn't work just like only drinking a couple beers. I need to take things slow and gain back the trust and respect from my kids and wife.
I went to a dinner and movie with my wife last night. We have working hard on trying to build our marriage back from the destruction of alcoholism. I expected it to have been way easier than what I am going through now. I owe it to my kids, wife and myself to try my best now sober. To be a part of instead of being almost all of the problem. It is a time to nourish life and spirituality.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
When life is busy, or all your energy is focused on a special project, it’s all too easy to find yourself “off balance”, not paying enough attention to important areas of your life. While you need to have drive and focus if you're going to get things done, taking this too far can lead to frustration and intense stress. That’s when it’s time to take a “helicopter view” of your life, so that you can bring things back into balance. This is where the Wheel of Life (or Life Wheel) can help. Commonly used by professional life coaches, it helps you consider each area of your life in turn and assess what’s off balance. And so, it helps you identify areas that need more attention. mind tools
Monday, April 03, 2006
One of the many major things that changed after a year in sobriety was my office. I really have been doing my best to keep organized. I have learned the more stress and fear your can confront and deflate in your life the odds of that next drink decrease. When I was drinking the fear of not finding the bid or important document was a everyday occurrence. I would stress out about having a messy office, however I couldn't find the time to clean the office. I was to busy planning what time I was going to start drinking or when I should buy the next 12 pack.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
After 28 days, everything has been rocky since walking out McDonald's rehab in patient program. My wife had began to prepare she had the legal papers in her hand when she picked my up. Its is still a complete mess, and any thought of it getting better is almost gone. Things feel like we are growing apart and its killing me in side. We have been struggling in our marriage trying to deal with but today we have no resolution. 3 young boys an alcoholic and a big dog may be to much.
So how does GTD work? This is a really summarized version, but here it is, PowerPoint-style: 1) identify all the stuff in your life that isn’t in the right place (close all open loops) 2) get rid of the stuff that isn’t yours or you don’t need right now create a right place that you trust and that supports your working style and values put your stuff in the right place, consistently 3) do your stuff in a way that honors your time, your energy, and the context of any given moment 4)iterate and refactor mercilessly So, basically, you make your stuff into real, actionable items or things you can just get rid of. Everything you keep has a clear reason for being in your life at any given moment—both now and well into the future. This gives you an amazing kind of confidence that a) nothing gets lost and b) you always understand what’s on or off your plate. Get Things Done
Sometimes the weight of life gets fuckin heavy. I am going fuckin crazy with three boys, I truly believe I am going in sane. Self will, sorry no time for that I being pulled in four different directions. Some times they are good little boys and with in seconds they turn in to demons. My wife is has more patience than me. She goes to the gym and her martial arts class (black belt). I need to find some outlet, because I feel unbalanced in life. Maybe I will get back to surfing and playing golf. I feel like my program is fairly strong, but I am missing time for myself. I have always felt guilty to have my time, because most of my life has been my time. However to truly be balanced you need that personal time.