synthetic Human Skin

Holy shit this Skin Bag company sells synthetic human skin products. I wonder if they will come out with a Texas chain saw line of apparel.

JOB

This truck was in front of me on my way to work. I hope this is not a sign from god!

Half Naked Thursday

Hey this guy maybe the founder or really wants to join half naked thursdays HNT Founder?link

405

I am sitting in a sea of traffic. A traffic alert sign said 1 hour delay, but it didn't say to where. Sitting in traffic allows my head to start running. I was day dreaming that I was at the beach sitting on a patio drinking one beer. Then I snapped out of it and this question appeared in my head, why just one idiot.

The Hand

I was just looking at my hand on the keyboard, when all of a sudden I had a flashback from the movie "The Hand". That movie scared the hell out of me.. posted on HNT.

Los Angeles

It seems like I am in LA almost every other day and it has been hot. Today I was in China Town and I stopped for a quick bite. I had beef and broccoli in a place with no AC. I was sweating eating the hot dish. I ended up leaving half of it, because I couldn't stand the heat. The meeting went ok and I headed home sober.

Gone

When I was drinking I would often think of killing myself. It was to stop the pain, but a lot of the time it was "They will be sorry. I will show them, they are going to miss me". Why would I want to hurt others around me as well as myself. It is all about "me" and the sad fact is life moves on. I realized it in rehab when I went out in the courtyard to smoke and heard cars on the highway of people going to work. I must be truly a pompous ass to think they would have stopped working because I was in rehab. I don't think that way all the time, now that I have a God and the 12 steps. Today I will be ok.

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Serenity

This guy shared about challenges vs. serenity. The need we have to keep ourselves challenged I feel is greatly ignored. I can't have serenity with out being challenged. I could sit in a box believing that I was full of serenity and never come out.  What takes me out of that box are challenges. I have talked to many so called AA Guru's out there who appear to be a serene being, but are truly unhappy and fearful inside. This is my 2nd chance at life and I want to make the most of it being sober. I love this quote "what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

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Heroin

We had a guy that OD on heroin. He had been struggling to stay sober for years. Working with multiple sponsors in an effort to try to get this thing we call sobriety. Sobriety is a fragile thing that we can lose at anytime and there are no guarantees of staying sober. The only guarantee we will have is a seat in a meeting of alcoholics anonymous.

Mr. T

I sat down down to see what my kids were watching and it was a Mr. T cartoon. This was that old cartoon reject from the 80's. My kids were laughing at the stupid kid talking like Mr. T. Quality time spent sober laughing with my boys. "I pitty the fool who picks up the first drink"

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Waiting Game

I was talking with a friend of mine and he told me he had a problem with alcohol 10 years ago, but now he just drinks a couple. I really have only seen him drunk a couple times in 6 years. Wow I thought that must be nice I would love to be able just to have a couple. I unfortunately need more than just a couple and a couple just wouldn't do it for me. The problem with me is that my disease just waits until I am at a low point and then hits me hard. My life is unmanageable when I drink, so therefore I am grateful I am sober today and for my friend good luck.

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Performancing Metrics

Performancing Metrics

Saturday

No more soccer till fall. I wanted to pick up another meeting for saturday mornings. However my wife wants to work out at the gym 9:00am 9:15am. I am going to have get a early meeting around 7:00am and thank god I am in San Diego where meetings are plentiful. I have been to other cities and the meetings are not as easy to work into your schedule.
Sunday night is my last night as secretary and I will be lacking a commitment. I was thinking about going to the rehab center where I attended and work with people in detox. I think this will be a really good opportunity to give something back.

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Copulator

The shit that people come up with truly amazes me. This guy I guess had blisters on his hands from over use.

My Office

I am going to have to look for a new office. This place was a good one in sobriety. The building is on church property and a blind guy Jim lives upstairs. It is a safe place for me to be at.

Moleskine

I am glad friday is here. I am still trying to organize myself and finally I think Moleskine has got the tool for me. They have a new calendar book that is exactly what I have wanted. I have been searching endlessly for the right system and now it is here. The week is on one side and the notes on the other (to do list). moleskine

Young Son

This is the guy that creates all the havoc in my family. Anything that is going on good or bad, you will find him. He is the one who wants to play every sport and seems to be a natural athlete. I have been playing with him a little more than the other two, because he is the one asking all the time. The other two saw their father drunk, mainly the older one. I feel sad sometimes because of all the shit I caused. I need to try and balance the time I spend with each boy. I am still struggling to be the best father I can to my boys. I sometimes find myself as one of them and that is usually when the problem starts.

Arm This...

Post on HNT

Alcoholic Mind

I am glad that I don't have the cross hairs on me today.

Today Will Soon Pass

I have finally figured out why I have been in this half ass mood. I have been in my head to long so therefore the committee starts talking and the next thing you know your on vacation in your head. It is a very dangerous place to be stuck alone. I was listening to all the bullshit and before I knew it, I felt like the only way to solve my problem was to have a drink. That thought only lasted a few minutes, however the feeling lingered to long for comfort. I need to go to more meetings and stay close to the pack or my ass is going to be shot off.