Sunday, February 10, 2008

no meeting

My wife was pissed so I didn't go to the meeting tonight. She had to go grocery shopping and needed help putting the boys to bed. I felt bad because I promised the kid I would take him. I am screwed either way and I have to protect my own sobriety, but I took him to starbucks for a 30 minute talk. I hope that will be good enough to keep him from using tonight. I watched him get in a car with a chic and some dude and drive away. This was the first time I felt like I cared about him.. How strange this feeling was. It was almost as if one of my boys got in that car..

,,,

10 comments:

anna said...

I've got a young kid in my homegroup that's gone back out and it kills me. I just want to scream, "Look at me!! Don't become like me!!"

Syd said...

You do what you can. Glad that you talked to the kid.

dAAve said...

As you and I both know, YOU can't keep him sober. He's just gonna have to be willing to make a few changes. Until then, ...

MICKY said...

AA AND RAPE

www.morerevealed.com/library/rfhorror/rfhorror2.jsp
www.peele.net/lib/twelve.html
www.geocities.com/drugsandalcoholinfo/webpagesandpapers/insideaawebpagewebpage.htm
www.unhooked.com/booktalk/12_step_horror_stories.htm
www.morerevealed.com/library/rfhorror/rfhorrorintro.jsp
http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/book/lookupid?key=olbp38901

"Thirteenth-stepping" is a euphemistic term used among members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to refer to people (particularly men) who target new, more vulnerable members (typically women) for dates or sex.

Previous research suggests that women frequently experience sexual harassment in AA meetings and even in chemical dependency treatment settings. The objective of this survey study is to describe the frequency of various 13th-stepping experiences in a sample of women involved in AA.

Fifty-five women, aged 17-72 years, completed an anonymous survey to describe their experiences with 13th-stepping by men in AA.

Results showed that at least 50% of the participants had at least occasionally experienced seven of the thirteen 13th-stepping behaviors listed in the survey.

Also, compared to women who had never attended a female-only AA group, women who had attended such groups reported more 13th-stepping experiences from their attendance at coed groups.

Two of the study participants volunteered that men they met in AA had raped them., It is important that chemical dependency treatment providers be aware of 13th-stepping in AA, particularly when treating women.

Especially vulnerable women, such as those with histories of sexual abuse. When women's groups are unavailable, women should be adequately prepared to protect themselves from 13th-Stepping.

I, MICKY, AM THE TRUTH & BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS THE LORD.

jessica said...

don't know what you have til it's gone type of thing huh. not literally, but just a little.

MICKY said...

DOES ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS FOCUS ON JESUS CHRIST?

"Agents For Satan"

A REASON A SEASON A LIFETIME
AAWAKENINGS
ALCOHOLIC BRAIN
ANONYMOUS ALCOHOLIC
ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
BIG SKY MAACK
BLUE'S THOUGHTS
COFFEE BITCH
DRAGON SPEAK
FLOWERDAVES PAGES
FROM THE FIRST CHAKRA (MSB)
HIGHER POWERED
I'M JUST F.I.N.E.
INMATEZ WIFE
IT'S A GIRL THING
LUSH FOR LIFE
MY JOURNEY TO RECOVERY
MY LIFE IN TAMPA
NO COMMENT
OUTRIGHT MENTAL DEFECTIVE
POSTCARDS FROM CUPCAKE MONKEY
RAANCH
RECOVERY ROAD
RIDIN' ON THE WAGON
SCOUT'S NEWCOMER DAZE
SIMPLY ANNA
SOBER CHICK
SOBER MOM
SOBER NUGGETS
SOBERING THOUGHTS
SOBERINSANITY
STAY AT HOME MOTHERDOM
STAYING STRAIGHT EDGE
THIS UNMANAGEABLE LIFE
THY WILL, NOT MINE
TODAAY
TWELVEBEADS
TWO DOGS BLOGGING
YOU AND ME ARE FLOATING...

MICKY said...

HOW IT SUCKS:

Rarly have we seen a person fail who thoroughly followed us home. Those who are not BRAINWASHED are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this garbage, usually men and women who are constitutionally capable of thinking for themselves.

There are such fortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born premature. They are naturally capable of building and developing muscles, which demands rigorous training. Their chances are 6/4 on.

There are those, too, who are gravediggers and undertakers, but many of them do become ZOMBIES if they have the capacity to be dishonest.

Our stories disclose in a twisted way, who we like, what happened, and who we hate now. If you have decided you want a cup of tea and are willing to go to any lengths to become emotionally shutdown, SHAPE SHIFTING REPTILES - then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked, we thought we could find someone to 13th Step. And we realised, we could. With all the madness at our command, we beg of you to become Bill Wilson Clones - from the very start.

Some of us have tried to hold on to our BIG BOOKS and the result was nil until we let go of our SPONSORS.

Remember that we deal with alcohol, frothy, bubbly, and powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power that one is the BARMAN. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the bar. We asked the BARMAN for a couple of stiff wodka's.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program to INSANITY:
1.We admitted we were powerless over Coca - Cola, and decided to drink Pepsi, instead.
2.Came to believe that Cold Power was a detergent.
3.Made a decision to turn our heads when we saw an attractive blonde.
4.Did a body search of the new members.
5.Admitted to our DOG, to elves, and to another super being the exact nature of our songs.
6.Were entirely ready to have SUPERMAN remove the effects of kryptonite.
7.Humbly asked CLARK KENT to remove our brains.
8.Made a list of all persons who owed us money, and became willing to charge them interest.
9.Made direct hits wherever possible, except when someone moved the target.
10.Continued to talk crap and when we were wrong, promptly talked more crap.
11.Sought through our mail and computer to improve our conscious contact with BATMAN, as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of ROBIN and the return of SPIDERMAN.
12.Having had a stroke as the result of these steps, we tried to carry out the garbage, and fell flat on our backs.

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain their homes and 13th Step the newcomers, at the same time.

We are not psychopaths. The point is, that we are willing to become psychotic. The principles we have set down are guides to psychosis. We claim that Bill Wilson was a psychopath.

Our description of the landscape, the chapter to the Gnostic, and our family photos before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were ugly and could not manage our own appearance.
(b) That probably no photographer could have improved our looks.
(c) That a PLASTIC SURGEON could and would if he were sought.

Did you enjoy that, Sydney? HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Are the "lambs calling", Little Terrified Lash505?
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!


I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE.

MICKY said...

My Dear Terrified Lash505,
BILL WILSON'S PACT WITH SATAN:

From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came. But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden
and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. Wilson was used by SATAN to delude millions of people.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

A typical interpretation of the verse might go as follows:
· For God so loved the world... - God is a God of love and this love motivates his action in the rest of the verse
· ...that he gave... - there was God giving something, his son as a sacrifice
· ...his only begotten[1] Son... - the human Jesus of Nazareth is also the Son of God, and also the Second Person of the Trinity
· ...that whosoever... - that salvation is open to all who will believe
· ...believeth... - being saved is based on belief or faith, rather than based on human works.
· ...in Him... - the belief being in Jesus, the Saviour
· ...should not perish... - implies the fate of those who do not believe, that is the doctrine of hell
· ...but have everlasting life. - shows the reward of those who believe, that is the doctrine of heaven.

I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE.

MICKY said...

Dearesy Lash505,
And the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.—Revelation 20:10

How do you feel, Lash505? Are the LAMBS CALLING?

I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE.

MICKY said...

SOUND OF SOBRIETY:
Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk crap again,
An AA meeting softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the 12 Steps that were planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of sobriety.

In restless meetings I walked alone
Bill Wilson Clones, made of stone
Neath the halo of an OLD TIMER,
I turned my collar to the 1st and 3rd Step
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
That split the night
And touched the sound of sobriety.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand STEPPERS, maybe more.
STEPPERS reading the BIG BOOK,
STEPPERS hearing without listening,
STEPPERS writing their 4th STEP
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of sobriety.

Zombies said I, you do not know
Sobriety like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might BRAINWASH you,
Take my arms that I might 13th Step you.
But my words like the higher power fell,
And echoed
In the halls of sobriety

And the STEPPERS ranted and raved
To the AA god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, KEEP COMING BACK
IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT
And the 12 STEP ZOMBIES.
Whispered in the sounds of sobriety.

Are the "lambs calling", Lash 505?
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA1 HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
Are you a SHAPE SHIFTING REPTILE, Lash505? HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! H! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Please enter HELL!
www.djhell.com/ - 5k

I, MICKY, AM THE LORD'S LIGHT & SALVATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE.