Hot Air

Lately I have been listening to a lot of people blowing hot air. Everyone seems to be holding on to their funds and acting like chicken little. This has been stalling projects that I have been working on for years. The good thing is that not all share this children's version of the economy and I do have some projects moving ahead.

As my wife packs for Rome I am feeling more anxious, because I will be home alone with my 3 boys. I am sure to survive but it will be a grind. I told them when mom leaves boot camp begins.

bastards

Surrealism is alive and well especially when it comes to our politicians. Pop art I think we should tar and feather all these fuckin CEO's of these in troubled financial institutions.

Feeling better today again, wow that is a miracle. I think sleep had something to do with it.

good day

Worked all day and got a lot done, which takes some stress off me.

Scott the reason why I post alcohol on the pictures is because I am an alcoholic. Anyways I am heading to a meeting tonight.

traveling again

I will be traveling again very soon. I am not looking forward to that because it gets old fast. Hotels are pretty much a nightmare to stay at; uncomfortable beds, mini bars and noisy halls.

I feel better about everything today and that is a good thing. This alcoholic shit is for the birds and I wish it would go away, but it is here to stay with me for a long time.

survive in cheap hotels

no step study

Should have went should have gone but didn't. I need to pull up my sober boot straps.

My wife is going to Rome for 10 days and I am stuck with the kids. Departure is a week away and I am not ready for her leaving.

ok today

You know this shit is deadly. I feel my life is hanging on a thread sometimes, but I just dont drink for the day and thats how I get through. Sometimes that is what you have do to stay sober. I am talking with others in the program so thank god for that because it keeps me accountable. Tomorrow will be differnt. The storm always passes.

spin zone

Lack of, I need church and meetings because I feel like I am standing on the perimeter. This is the sign I recognize well it means something has to change fast or I will lose the gift. Sobriety is that gift.

Aiken is Gay??

rough times

Wow I have been riding the roller coaster to hell this week. One project almost turned into a disaster and repeating the mistakes from last year. It turned out OK, but my head and neck are permanently damaged from the aftermath. I am having these stress headaches and they feel like a bad hangover. I can't drink them away anymore so I just try to work through them.

All the boys play tomorrow, so the schedule is a 8:00 am soccer game, 12:00 pm football game and a 3:00pm football game. I think the games will keep me out of the dangerous bowels of my head.

remember

I keep those last days very close in my memory. It sometimes seems so long ago and yet at times seems like yesterday. I don't want to go through that all over again.. So I try my best to stay close to the program.

new key

I am adding a new key back into my daily life. When I was drinking there was no room for god and if anything god was working against me.

The sports day tomorrow for the boys is going to be a lot of runing around.

doing

I have to attend a convention tomorrow in SD, wow.. The brochure is geeky and it says surfs up. Anyways I hope to get some biz out of the show.

A friend gave me 4 tickets for the Padre game on sunday. We are going to be 3 rows up from home plate which are the best seats in the house. The boys are going crazy because we will be so close to the players and they are taking their gloves.

drama queens

Damn the meeting I attend has more drama than a midwest hair salon. I guess as alcoholics we feed off of that..

I am going to bed early tonight in a effort to gain back some lost sleep.

sunday

I am so tired today and I had to clean the garage, yikes.. I feel my arms burning and that is a good thing because I need the exercise.

I have to go to a meeting tonight and I feel like bagging the whole deal. I just want to stay at home and sleep. Oh well that is when I need to go, when I don't want to go, if that makes sense.

loft

I built a loft for my oldest son and what a pain in the ass. I decided in order to save money I would download the instructions instead of forking out $400.00 for the pre-cut and pre-drilled lumber. I spent $100.00 at home depot and 500 hours of manual labor, meaning me and my wife.

Football games today + one soccer game. My youngest son played the whole game as quarterback, yeaah.. He scored a running touchdown and threw a pass for a touchdown. Middle son scored the only two goals for his soccer team and my oldest son struggled to stay on the football field because of a sprained wrist.

I need to organized my calender tomorrow, because i have so much traveling going on lately.

addiction

Lack of meetings have the mind working with all the voices. The voices that want me dead.. So I need to attend a meeting tomorrow night in Las Vegas. I will be there for two days and thats a dangerous place for me because it has all I want.

life is strange

I want to preface this post by saying this photo is not me. I am stating this just in case someone is confused.

What a fucked up weekend. It began Saturday morning when my 6 year old "star to be" quarterback decided to run off the field after the second play. He was done with football. I asked him what was wrong and on the first play he ran for 20 yards and ended up close to the opposing sideline where the parents heckled him.. After prodding him for 40 mins he went back in on defense as safety. Parents suck sometimes.

My oldest is acting like a drama queen citing multiple injury's each time he feels like not playing.

We were at our friends cookout on Sunday when we saw a plume of smoke and we ran towards it to see where the fire was located. Several blocks down was a house on fire. So as a good alcoholic I ran to see it and as I arrived the fireman asked me and a couple others from our party to pull the hose. That was cool, and my first experience with pulling hose... lol, so you guys can have at that one...