I went to bible study again tonight and I felt cleansed when I left. It is not your typical because it is made up of cynical alcoholics and a preacher. It is like the misfits looking for god, but he is there and that is cool.
The spiritual part of this program is big and without it I will be drunk. Its the balance of the spirituality + meetings + helping other alcoholics = serenity. I really needed the spiritual part of the equation today.
I ended up not going to the meeting tonight and elected to go to dinner with my family. I don't know if I am burned out or just on my way to the next drink. I am getting tired of the same people and same bullshit stories. I just pray to god that he gives me some direction.
I have been thinking about how it sucks to never be able to drink again. It is when it gets towards the holidays I feel like this. I need to remember that I drank for over 25 years of my life. So now I need to live the rest sober.
My son had his all-star games today and they came in second. I am a lucky man.
Wow I am coming back from a disaster year to a good year. My 4Th quarter sales are boosting me to a good year. I have been praying and working my ass off. In some ways I put myself into this position. I seem to like being on the edge and pushing my to come up with a hell mary pass and I made it this year. I have to try hard not to put myself in this position, because it is bad behavior. Setting myself up for potential failure is not good. I have a family that relies on me.
One more thing on this politics shit, I think we should charge GW Bush rent for using the White House to fuck off in.
Going to a meeting tonight however I am battling the flu..
I guess I am not the only one to have smoked and inhaled. I guess we are in the process of change, however I don"t think GW Bush should get off so lightly. We ought to confiscate his farm as well as all his money. The bitch sold us down the river and as far as the CEO's from the defunct financial institutions a public beheading.
I have been to busy to catch a meeting in a couple of weeks. Life has been crazy and I just didn't fuckin drink. That works for when I am meetingless however it wont last forever so I need to attend my home group meeting tomorrow. That is the plan my man.
I have felt like my life has been moving in all directions. I feel like I am hanging on by rope as my body is being tossed back and forth into buildings. Hell I am trying to fiqure out where I am now.
My meeting today went really well in my partnership of a solar product. I hope to get this job to help launch it. My job is still up in the air so we shall see. I am just keeping one foot in front of the other. I am also praying and stay close to AA.
I am headed for Santa Monica tonight because I have a 8:30 am meeting. I am fighting to get these deals closed so my life will be easier. I will know this week if my job will still be in my hands.
My wife is at a fund raiser for a friend of ours who is dying of stage 4 cancer. She would love to have my problems instead of her inevitable death. I need to start being more grateful on a daily basis. I am a pretty lucky guy.
condometric
I have been really busting my ass to try to get my sales up. The economy has not been helping me however there are still plenty of projects going on. I am hanging on by a thread for my job and the odds are in my favor to make my quota. I have 2 jobs left to get so we will see.
My wife is back to normal so that is good and the boys are good. I am still sober so that is also good. I just need to get some meetings under my belt.
Well the day my wife gets home is day my salary gets cut by a 1/4. My boss is a dick and he will get his down the road. My head has been spinning for the last several days. I got pissed at my sponsor and basically told him to go fuck himself. Of course I called him back several hours later to apologize. Maybe I need a meeting and some decent sleep. Worring about whats going to happen tomorrow is where I am, but that is a bad place for me.
My wife had a great trip to Italy but has been an asshole about the salary cut. So I wish she would go back to Italy.
Well my my wife isn't coming home till tomorrow night and my boss switched our meeting from Tuesday to tomorrow. I am basically fucked. I have some friends helping me I am just praying everything will go smooth.
I have to do an install tomorrow night for my boss so I wont even get to see my wife till Wednesday. I guess that is life. At least I am still sober and clean.
I took a break from doing the dishes and took a quick web break. Pretty cool song and the beat is euro.
2 football games and a soccer game and I am wiped out. This is getting harder to maintain, basically a single parent for 2 weeks. The end is close so I hope to pull through.
My boss the asshole wants to meet with me Monday morning. This sucks since he is flying in from out of town. If he tries to reduce my salary or let me go fuck him. I am tired of working for this alcoholic bitch anyways. He is a egotistical idiot. He has ripped me off for to many years now.
He stands 7½ inches tall, nearly 2 inches in diameter, with a golden color and firm, smooth feel. Made in the USA from the finest TPR rubber, phthalate-free, waterproof, with no batteries required. The Head O State will stand upright and last the whole night through. obama butt plug
I think the George Bush butt plug will sell the most because we will be feeling his fuck ups in our ass for along time.
Anyways I had a good day with the boys and everything went smooth. The house looks very messy so I guess we will clean it tomorrow night.
Well I won the battle of will with my 6 year old son. He ended up a school with out crying. I won this one but tomorrow the challenge begins again. I can feel it in the air.
Fire season is still here and we had a large one about 4 miles from the house today. I will take a photo next time, because I was to tired today. I am running on minimal energy. I dont want to sound like a baby, but this is a bitch.
Today was worse, my 6 year old is testing my limits. I will win over this test of parenthood and insanity. Again another melt down at school and I spoke with the principle and she said all our kids are extremely bright however they have won the battle with my wife. That has changed while she is in Rome I am whipping these boys into shape. I grounded my 6 year old all day to his room and I am hoping it has paid off. Tomorrow will be the answer to this question. I have my second wind so I am prepared to do it all again tomorrow if necessary. I am glad I am sober so I can deal with this life problem.
Damn if I can make without drinking through this I will pick up a chip for having your ass almost fall off. The day started last night when I got two flats on my car while going to the store to pick up bleech. Some punk kids put glass rapped up in duck tape and I hit it. So I could take my boys to school, but friends of ours said they would help. However my 2 youngest boys triped out and would not go. So a little later a tow truck picked me up and took me to the tire store. Shit I have to go.
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