I remember these days so well. You have your drugs and liquor and a hot date. All in that order. I thought I was cool because that is what alcohol and drugs did for me. Until one day it became all of me.
My oldest son is playing the sick role at football practice. I can't take it any more. He has the talent but not the drive inside of him. He wants the glory with half the work. He has quit several sports, because he grows tired of the work it takes. My wife and I had a fight because she says he has a lack of esteem however I think he is just lazy and spoiled.
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I don't think you can force it on him. A person either enjoys an activity, or they don't. If he doesn't, maybe some day he will, but may be he never will. Nothing you can do to change that attitude.
Maybe you can give him an alternative. ie: stay home and clean the house every day
LOL
dude, your son sounds like me... I too am a fan of having all the results on half the work... I have struggled with that outlook all my life. It's better now, but not entirely gone.
It's hard to find the place to nudge him on without forcing it on him and making a huge traumatic deal out of it. Parenting sucks sometimes lol
This is hard as a parent. Have you seen Facing the Giants? Football movie about a small town team with no motivation but then with the glory of God make it to state.
Sounds familiar to me; I have a 13 year old a little like that.
My brother is a former high school and college football star and now a high school football coach and he believes you can't force it on kids. They catch the bug or they don't. Best to offer up a lot of alternatives for them to try and it doesn't all have to be sports. Bro had to come to grips with foisting his dreams on his son regarding football who wanted very little to do with it. Son was into music.
Good luck!
Hmm,,perhaps your son has all of the above.no matter how much we want our kids to live up to our expectations Lash..we have to give them room to find and meet thier own expectations.self esteem has everything to do with that I believe.You just keep trying to beileve in him the best you can..
nothing means more to a kid than that!
Just say'in....
My son didn't like football and eventually got a knee injury that got him out of it. His father went to college on a football scholarship, so it was hard for him. There are many differences between mothers and fathers.
Oh, I'm sorry about your son..
And the date thing, I totally get.
perhaps some of both?
My youngest son quit sports because of the competition with his brother and went into dance and theatre instead and excelled there--sometimes it takes time to find a niche
I think that many of us have talents but for whatever reason don't follow through. I've always been driven, now I don't drive myself as hard. Your son will find his way and what he likes. Sometimes pushing can have negative effects.
My daughter often says "I don't want to and you can't make me!" I hope your son finds his bliss, then he will be motivated...
In the meantime take care of YOU!!!
Funny, my son and I just had this conversation (age 23)...I asked him why he quit everything he every joined. He said "truth?", I said yes...he said "I"m lazy as hell". And the only thing I'm not lazy at is skateboarding, cuz I love it".......He said "I just didn't really love anything else enough for all that damn work".
My track record raising kids while drinking was so bad that I have no advice at all.
Hope it all works out.. Just love him as he is..
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