How Did You Make It So Far?

For me I have stayed close to my homegroup. I make calls to other alcoholic's on a daily basis. I call my sponsor everyday with the exception of Saturday. I gave him a day off. I pray everyday and thank god for being sober. I try my best to stay out of my head, because the longer it stays in my head the more distorted it becomes. I stay honest with myself and with god. I really believe when I begin to lie my first drink won't be far behind. Basically honesty is one of the key component to sobriety. I keep everything simple and I just don't drink on day at a time. I do many things that I really don't want to do, this is another part that helps keep me out of control. Finally I am working the steps to make the quality of my life better with my relationships, attitude, productivity, empathy toward others, health, self-esteem, because alcohol is only a symptom of my problem.

Hamas

I watched this documentary on Hamas and what they do for the Palestinian people makes me understand why they were elected. They truly had given more money to the people than their so called democracy counter parts. That is money given for a specific purpose such as schools hospitals, and rebuilding the infrastructure down to jobs and food. From an outsider this seems to be clearly an applauded act. I think this will be a time when Israel and Palestine will acheive a better chance for peace this time. The hatred has to be left on the table.

Where is the balance?

4th Step

I have begun writing down all resentments and what's my part in the whole thing. I have been in a bad mood and pissed off at anyone who comes near me. I was feeling pretty good before I started and now it seems my head is spinning and I am just mad. I know it is the clearing of the inventory, but shit this sucks. I guess the part I had in the deal is still my problem. However I need to get this done in order to protect my sobriety.

I'm Thankful I'm Sober Today

This can be me if I pick up the first drink. It won't take long maybe a week maybe a month, but it will happen. When I went to rehab I was in a group of people that had relapsed. They all told their stories and they were all identical. They started with a few and before they knew it they were back at the same amount they were using. This only increased in volume and the wreckage became swifter and greater than before. I pray for them, hoping that they to are sober. I really beleive that if I choose to have that first drink, I won't being coming back. My sobriety date is 05-17-04

Fruity nudes cause controversy

Religious groups are calling for an art exhibition showing naked women posing among fruit and vegetables to be banned. Carla Bobadilla's new exhibition is made up of a series of giant posters of nudes, reports Las Ultimas Noticias. Some of the Chilean artist's pictures are very explicit and have prompted religious groups to ask for the exhibition to be closed. But Mrs Bobadilla insists: "My goal was to portray the vision that foreigners have of Chile - that of a country that is economically stable because of its fruit exports." The exhibition is on display at the Bellas Artes Museum in Santiago.

I'm Glad To Be Sober Today

Phnom Penh, Cambodia - A Cambodian man received 25 stitches to his penis after his wife attempted to sever the organ with scissors after a domestic dispute, a newspaper reported on Tuesday. Khay Kaing, 40, returned home early on Saturday after a night of drinking and karaoke with friends in Kampong Cham province, 80 kilometres northeast of the capital Phnom Penh, the Koh Santepheap, or Island of Peace, newspaper reported. An argument ensued and he allegedly slapped his wife. As the man got into bed his wife came at him with the scissors and attempted to cut off his penis, the newspaper reported, not detailing whether she succeeded. Kang Sakhan, the provincial police chief, confirmed the incident but did not provide details. The newspaper said after being attacked, the man walked some 500 metres to a relative's home to seek help and was later taken to a village doctor who administered the sutures.

The Abbey

This is the place I went to after getting out of rehab Prince of Peace. When I got there I was godless. I had walked the grounds and found stations of the cross trail. I went down the path stopping at each station. I noticed he had fallen twice and I found relief in my life for the times I had fallen. By the time I left I had god again in my life.

Can You Be Saved!

SHARING IN AA “If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway.” - Alcoholics Anonymous, page 55 “Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.” - Proverbs 12:25 Sharing helps me keep honest with myself and god.

What doesn't belong in this picture??

Trudges Heliport

What the hell kind of helicopter is that?

My Kids

As of today my kids won't think of there childhood heros as drinkers and drunks. The reason is very simple today I am sober and closing in on 2 years. They don't seem to remember that I ever drank, because I stopped just before any damage occurred. That is what I hope and pray that happened. I probably won't know until they are older. They are all I have and hold close in my life. I have never told them that I am an alcoholic, but the time is almost at hand. They are asking what meetings I am going to and I know one day I will accidentally leave the big book out and they will read it. My wife has books she got from Alanon, but they seem to graphic for my comfort. I frankly don't know what to tell them, but sorry.

Gone MOM

My mom left today and I felt sad for one first times. I expected that her stay was going to cause me to drink. I remember everything she did irritated me and I would end up drinking over it. I can actually say, that this time spent with my mom was the best I have ever had. Maybe the problem all a long wasn't my mom, but was me. Ok maybe not always that I was the problem, but probably most of the time. I got see first hand the cause and effect of how my past resentments effected my attitude towards my mother. The end result result of how I felt torwards her and treated her was not at all acurate of what actually transpired. I hope this will be the same case with other people in my family I have yet to see.

My Life

Smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee has now become an essential staple in my life. I need to drop the smoking part as soon as possible. They are now banning smoking at any public park or the beaches in the city I live. This to me is the final straw. I just hate having to quit something that is addictive when I am forced.

Glad

Well I picked my mom up from the train station today. She was up in Ventura with her husband and she came down to see me. If you get to California the train rides are great because they run along the coast and you actually get a great sunset views. She hasn't seen me in two years and 1 1/2 of them are sober ones. I was scared at first for some reason, but it was really great seeing her. She seems really proud and that makes me feel good inside, even though I feel some what less than deserving. I need to add a couple meetings to my schedule. I have been going to 2 meetings a week and a bible class and it seems to be just not enough. I am really exhausted, the bees are gone and today I'm sober.

God or Little Man

My boss has now discovered a way to micromanage the company. This is the ultimate fear I have had and the other VP thinks it’s a good idea; however I don't think he fully understands the ramifications.  I can already see that the gust of power has blown upon his chest. The idea of knowing when and where we all are at any given point is the ultimate power to him. I think the edge for me is knowing his computer savvy is that of a Neanderthal man. He is a repudiationist alcoholic, whom likes to show the world that he is perhaps small in stature, but vast in intellect. Done

I think we have bees in our wall and ceiling again. I hear them buzzing around and my wife is going to have a heart attack. Last time we had was 6 months ago and she wanted to sell the house. The problem where I live is you have to be careful about killer bees’ and you can't tell by looking at them. You have to send them to a lab, where they look under a microscope to tell where the bee is friendly or a killer bee. Yikes, I am scaring myself now. Sometimes regardless of anything you do drama will follow. The only fucking thing you can do is not to immerse yourself in it.  

Shocked

I just don't know if I am immature or just fucking like to laugh. But I find humor in a lot of aspects in my life. I guess you could say, It helps me make it through the day. I do have to say I probably lead the most eventful life of anyone I know. I have more bizarre shit happen to me each day. My wife thinks that one day I should or someone else should write a book about my life. She is working on a romance Novel, how ironic maybe I should check her cell calls on the phone bill. I told her I am not expecting to be in her book.

Speaking of romance my brother’s wife was having an affair after only three years of marriage. This event lasted for 4 weeks right under his nose. He called and told me tonight and what a shock it was, because they we just out visiting.  He is at home by himself and I heard his glass fill with ice. I am just not sure if he has a drinking problem yet, but he is definitely an alcoholic.    

Present

I was thinking about buying my wife one.