Recovery Bra

Part bra, part sculpture, part social disturbance. As a vague description, we'll call it the 'nerve' bra, but it's really so much more. The base bra in this example is a nude seamless type, encouraging the illusion that the skin is exposed and the light is coming from within the body. click link

memorial day

We went to the aircraft carrier The Midway and walked the whole aircraft carrier. It was huge, like a floating city. There were vets up on the flight deck talking about their missions. It was so cool listening to these guys talk, that I wanted to bring one home because it is like a walking history book. I love the guys who fight for us to give us the opportunity to live free. Hats office to the men in service, they are the big dogs.

cake night

Tonight I will take my cake for 3 years of sobriety. I always get nervous, so I will ask god to do the talking for me.

meetings

I am dying for a meeting and it seems like I am running on a empty tank of gas. I have had a lot of shit going on in the last couple weeks mother's day and a convention took out my sunday night meeting. However I shall be there tomorrow night, thank god.

marriage

I am happy to be sober, because drinking can take a lot of things away, including your life.

friday night

We all went to my son's baseball party at the pizza place. The kid's had a blast and yes some of the fathers decided to drink. The fathers who drank became knowledge tree's of baseball. It is amazing how alcohol makes you so smart. Anyways I had fun fucking with them as well as another father who didn't drink. I was unsure if he was in the program, but if not I give him credit for stopping. It is funny because I recently met another guy who quit and isn't in the program. However, I need the program with the care of god to be able to make it another day.

trips

It is amazing how vegas lingers on in my mind. I have been home for over 24 hours and still the shit is in my mind. That city is not for me in sobriety. The place has all the elements to take me out.

My boys are doing great and they seem bigger just in a few days of being gone. That is why it is so important to make the most out of each minute I have with them, instead of taking time for granted. I am taking my belated cake this sunday for my time sober..

back home

I am very tired from standing up for over 10 hours a day at the convention. It's late I am tired. Sleep after Lost episode.

day 5

I am now at the airport waiting on my steak fajita lunch. As I look around I am one of the few not drinking. I thank god and the program for today..My flight is leaving vegas in a hour..

vegas day 4

Wow everyting is starting to look good here the drinks, the women and the money. My time is consumed with business meetings and no time for a meeting. One more day and I will win this battle. I am in my booth right now..back to work.

vegas again

I am back in vegas at another convention. Its hot as hell here and there is nothing of value. Eat, drink and sex are what everyone is looking for and not in that order. I will be leaving next wednesday and it wont come soon enough. I am taking my 3 year cake next sunday, because I have to keep my business rolling. No photo because I am using my blackberry. Thank god for the blackberry.

not alone

I had a pretty good day, being 3. I talked to some people in my home group, who made me feel good about myself. It's a long road ahead, but the guy next to my side is my sponsor. So as long as I do what I am suppose to do, another day of sobriety will be waiting for me.

3 years

Well tomorrow will bring me three years of sobriety. It's been a long three years, but life sure feels good today. Today I have my family, God and AA. Each of these are important to me, because with out one I have none. I have been giving each of these three things most of my time. They are what keep me balanced. Three years ago I would have never believed that life could be this good sober. It is amazing how this program truly works, I am in awe. The blogging has really help me even though people find it to be a unorthodox part of the program. You find whatever works and hold on to it tight and tomorrow your dreams will come true.

steps

I came close to knocking the shit out of one of my son's asst coaches. The guy has been screwing with my boy's swing from day one. The guy walks like he has a shit in his pants. His arms swinging like a chimp and acting like he is a bad ass. I know one punch and this bitch would be crying. Man, just thinking about makes me feel like fighting. Any ways back to the steps.

couch

I am just happy to believe in god, aa and being sobriety.

shopping spree

Oh by the way I won $1000.00 playing black jack. I gave it to my wife for mothers day and told her to go on a shopping spree. See it's not all about me anymore.

airport

I am sitting at the airport in las vegas.. I am happy to be going home. These conventions are exhausting and full of limos and drinking. We took clients our gambling and while in the limo one of our clients offered me champagne and as I declined he called me a freak.

vegas

still in vegas.. I want to go home..

Here

Here in vegas is like being in a prison. I am watching all these assholes drink their fill. There is something about being in a desert that makes one thirsty for alcohol. Tough town, but I have my big book. I will catch up on my peeps, hopefully tomorrow.

las vegas

I am heading to las vegas tomorrow, it's the city I hate with a passion. I guess I have had to many drunks there. I am seeing the little man (my boss) and I am asking for mo money. I hope he gives it to me, because I need some debt relief. I have been fighting with unions all day on my projects, so me es muy cansado. Thats a little spanish for the english impaired. I hope everyone is well. I will keep in touch while I am in the city of sin.

right path

Everything I have been doing has been on the right path. It has been amazing the things that are happening to me. I feel as though I have grown as a person and a man. I still have my twisted ways (per scott), but thats ok today. Sometimes this deal we do to remain sober takes time for the results or promises. But if you stay the course you will eventually see the results and for that I am grateful.

cinco de mayo

Yes, it is like a fourth of July for the mexican people. When I drank, I use to always pound tequila on this celebration day. Our neighborhood usually goes nuts with parties every 5 houses. I am inside and safe from the parties. Also I am playing golf with guys in the program tomorrow morning. Our tee off time is at 6:30 am, so a good night sleep would be a good idea. Be safe and Sober..

on the run

I have been running around today trying to get projects, bids, etc closed up. I have to get all this done today, because tonight my son has a baseball game. Rain is in the air, but this is socal, so it probably won't rain. I am looking forward to a great week end with my family. I hope all of you peeps (sober chic's term) have a great week end as well.

Sutree

Watch and learn, what a great site. I can watch videos of how to make origami's or learn about cloning cells. Great stuff and this site is FREE. link

not here

I feel like hiding or getting away tonight. Everything seems to make my head pound louder. I am just plain beat from making sure everything is done, dishes, baseball practice, paper work, bills, etc. You know, life gets hard sometimes by there is always tomorrow. It's the opportunity for a new day, how great is that?

what

I, no, we are on satan's list. Thats pretty creepy, however my beliefs may not be the same as yours, so practice your religion where it belongs, in a church.

I am feeling good today and I know why, because I am spending more time with the family. Yesterday we went to a park by the beach and out to dinner. I really need to do the family thing even though it is hard, because I grew in the house of hell (alcoholic house). The chain is broken today and at least my kids know you don't have to drink to deal with your fear.

dating

If you are thinking about dating you might need some practice. link

kids and pools

We had a friend of ours lose their little boy to the bottom of the pool. As it gets to be summer we need to keep a close eye out on our kids. It is a horrible feeling as a parent to know your child died in fear. I just pray for this family every day, because I know it would kill me if something happened to one of my boys.

I am in the office this week and out again the next two weeks to Las Vegas for convention land. yikes this town scares the hell out of me. mo mo meetings..

waiting

I am still waiting for these projects to close. I have been waiting for the dreaded phone call. I don't know why I have been putting so much value into these projects, I feel good and my family love me. What else could I want, but to make life easier. Why is it so difficult to move a little closer towards success.

The boys have baseball practice today and now they are fighting, got to go.

Recycled Weekend

I have been working on new products that are recycled, so if you know of any new materials please contact me.

I am going to take the boys individually to practice baseball today. I am really starting to get into this more after the party last night. It was a little weird because there are a lot of big drinkers, however some. yes some only had one drink. This is normal for people to have just one. Our parking space will rock for next year.

back

Off the air from a security breech. Watch out for a Roswell Georgia connecting through a sprint wireless card.

Man, did I miss posting on this blog. It seems to keep me connected for whatever reason. I had a great day today which was filled with baseball and going to a party with my wife. It was casino night w/ dancing benefit for our little league. It was a gambling tune up for my trip to vegas in a week. We had fun dancing and bidding on the prize auctions. It was all for a good cause. Since we have three boys playing baseball the final auction was front row parking which, we out bid everyone else on. I had fun tonight and I didn't drink, it can happen.

airport

Yes, I am in paradise a airport lobby. There is a guy sitting here with hearing aids in both ears and talking real loud. He is making my head pound and you can hear him all over the concourse. I see all the same strange airport people are all around, it's a circus side show. My flight is delayed an hour and I am probably going to get in late now. I have a early meeting tomorrow and if I had a pillow I would go to sleep here on the floor.

I have been in this weird depressed state all day. I felt like drinking, but it didn't last long. I am not sure what it is work, sleep, food, aa birthday coming, financial, lonely, age, meeting, or just a lack of.

Barbitch

Damn, I think I might have to get one of these dolls. link

I head for Seattle tomorrow on business.I feel like when will this tour end. I know some people like to travel, but this is getting to be crazy. The next 8 weeks are the same, hell the rest of the year is travel...

old timers

Old timers in a meetings are very important. They give the newcomers as well as me hope. I want to know that living sober in life can be accomplished through age. All I can to do is live for today, but man they are comfort for me.

Alec Baldwin

All parents get angry at their children, but arguments usually remain in the household. If you're Alec Baldwin and you call your 11-year-old daughter a "rude little pig" on voice mail, however, you no longer can expect your outburst to remain in the family.washington post

I have said worse to my kids and I am a good father to my boys. Give Alec a break, it is hard raising kids today married let alone divorced. The thing that bugs me is Sean Hannity's comment that "Alec should do jail time for what he said". Sean is a idiot for making that comment, besides what does he know about raising kids? Sean Hannity as become the Drama Queen of the news. I think he has been hanging out with Marv Albert.

My peeps

Have a good sober week end

why

I just got back from my oldest sons game and he did OK. He had two drop fly's, a triple, and two walks. My youngest son played T-ball earlier and got a double. I am tired of baseball with all three boys playing. I never thought I would ever say that a year ago. But here I am at 10:00 pm just returning home from the game exhausted. Kids are great, but where is the down time.

old turf

This is the place I use to always drink at in San Francisco. It was a chance for me to bond with my drunk irish brothers. They would always serve me as much as I wanted and I stayed at the hilton across the street. I was pretty much set in those days. Now I stay close to a AA meeting, how ironic.

I talked to the NY company who is handling the job interview I was in last week. They said I blew all the other people out of the water. However there are still several more to interview. I feel like they are lying to me, but I am my own worst enemy. I am still working on trying to love myself. thanks trudge.

san fran

I have to go to san fran tomorrow. The trip is only a couple days. I have been really tired lately. I think I need to slow it down a little. I just keep putting more and more on my plate. see ya.

fun times

My wife went to the beach at 8:00 am yesterday to hold the fire pit for the birthday party. I relieved her at 10;30 am with my oldest son. We had to sit there all day, other wise you lose the fire pit to someone else. There are 6 fire pits at this particular beach. The party was a 5:00pm so my day with my oldest son was going to be long. Since we couldn't leave and we were getting hungry and being a resourceful alcoholic I had a local pizza company deliver the pizza to us at the beach. My son was impressed, while other beach people looked on in awe. We talked and laughed all day and we bonded. This was the longest time we ever spent together alone. I felt happy when we drove home last night and decided I will start spending alone time with each one of my boys

beach

My son is having his birthday tomorrow at the beach. The party starts at 5pm and we are having a bonfire in a fire pit at the beach. There will be hot dogs, chips, roasted marshmallows and no alcohol or drugs. Since I have been sober I have noticed god is alive inside of me.

wife gone

My wife is up in Orange County for a meeting. She is going to be there till late tonight. I just finished feeding the boys hot dogs with a side dish of macaroni and cheese. I fired up the grill for my world famous hot dogs and they turned out great. The boys ate them up, which makes me happy. I am going to get them to bed early, hopefully. (photo not my wife, but close) she would kick my ass if I posted her photo.

the wall

The wall in my life keeps a lot of potential friends out. I personally don't like people in general, but I am tolerable to most. I think this anti-social behavior came from my many years of drinking alone. I didn't like people coming over because they would always ask for a beer and they were mine. I use to keep beers in coolers all over the place and well hidden. I still have trouble sharing things and it is like a three year old not wanting to share his or her toys.

post interview

well, I don't know how to tell a good interview from a bad one. I think I did alright but it wasn't my best. He blasted me with all those bullshit interview 101 questions and I held my ground because of the alcoholic spin. We are good at thinking on our feet and being able to spin something into a completely different meaning. This guy was either confused or impressed. I think this guy is over his head a little bit by the way he acted and he is definitely a ego freak. Yuk.. They are suppose to get back with me tomorrow.

interview

I have a interview tomorrow at 4:00pm in santa monica. I am sort of nervous about the whole deal. I am still a person who doesn't like change regardless of the pain. I am just trying to think of this as nothing more than a simple sales call. My wife said I shouldn't act like myself because I am a asshole sometimes. I get nervous when I don't act myself and I am usually an asshole to people with egos. I am not sure if this guy has one, but I sure hope not. I hate the whole idea of trying to impress someone I don't even know. I have just prayed and put it into gods hands for now.

second life

second life is a ripoff. I received $400.00 + bill last month. I stopped using the product because second life is filled with sins of the flesh and that was at the end of February. It has more nasty crap on it from topless dancers to S&M Fetishes to child porn. The child porn blew me away and it's even next to IBM. Yikes, so is IBM sponsoring children's pornography? All I know is second life should change it's name to last life. Because the product is on it's last life..

Flash 12 steps click

happy easter

Don't drink..Eat the candy

the 12 steps Flash click

12 steps

Check out the 12 steps done the coffee bitch way. please click

pat's/rubby's dry rub

Dry rub BBQ You can adjust the proportions of spices in this all-purpose rub or add or subtract a spice, as you wish. For instance, if you don't like spicy food, reduce the cayenne. Or, if you are using hot chili powder, eliminate the cayenne entirely. This rub works well with ribs and brisket as well as with Boston butt for pulled pork.

4 tablespoons sweet paprika

2 tablespoons chili powder

2 tablespoons ground cumin

2 tablespoons salt

1 tablespoon dried oregano

1 tablespoon sugar

1 tablespoon ground black pepper

1 tablespoon ground white pepper

1-2 teaspoons cayenne pepper

Mix all of the ingredients together in a small bowl.

good eating, Pigman Pat

feeling small

I feel like I am being swept away at my job. I need to start standing up for myself. It is hard for me to ask for more money and I don't know why.

god tube

Man, I felt pretty good after watching that video. It's a good beta so check it out.

I am tired today, because I was at one of our plants all day with clients. Damn being nice wears me out. I am so sick of smiling today and acting like everything is ok. yeehaa..

some things stayed locked

After I did my unorthodox 4th step, there were a few items left unturned. I am going to redo the 4th step again with my sponsor. It is hard to forgive myself for some of the things I have done.

liar

As an alcoholic the first word that pops out of my mouth is a lie. Actually I am not an alcoholic I have been lying to you guys. See that was a lie, its just natural for a person like me. I use to lie to cover my tracks and to protect my beloved alcohol and pills. I even got to a point of believing my own lies. The difference now is that I got honest with god and myself. Once I start to lie to myself again, I will be dead.

blow out

Today while traveling 75-80 mph up to los angeles I ran over a trailer hitch. I thought my little suv was going to flip. I ended up stepping on the brakes after my tire blew out. I was getting off the shoulder when smaaash the cars rear ended each other. Everyone was ok, but two of the cars where totaled. Chp showed up and said it wasn't my fault. Wow that was a first, it wasn't my fault? so I began to laugh. I laugh when I think I am going to cry.

carried away

Carried away
Uploaded by nicop

some days I would liked to be carried away in a bubble and when I fall there would be some puppet looking chick to save me

streets

I always make a effort to give to people who are on the streets. God knows that I am only one drink away from being there myself.

I went to my meeting last night and it sucked, because I have been sitting in between a couple of nut cases. They ruin the meeting for me, because they are in left field. I am moving my seat next week further back.

beach

We are off to the beach today, but first I need to take the boys to practice baseball. I have been working on their mechanics because they asked. When I was a kid it was no choice. I ended up playing in high school and as a freshman in college. However my arm after multiple surgeries was gone. I still can throw, but I need another surgery so I throw with some pain. I deal with the pain, because I am a alcoholic and my whole life was pain.