I have been dealing with that young neighbor kid who is trying to get sober. Yikes it was been grueling since he is only 18. He has been locked up since he was 14.
I have been interviewing admin assistants again. I hopefully will have someone hired by Monday.
This place is driving me nuts, I am in the Adirondacks and there is still a lot of snow. We are in a small town and I am getting stir crazy, plus my wifes family is driving me nuts.
I stayed sober through 2007 and made it through New Years sober. Now living sober for today starts again as we begin 2008. I am going to make more meetings this year and do my steps again. I am also going to make more calls on the phone list. My sobriety is a gift from god and alcoholics anonymous and can be taken away at anytime. link
This flu virus going around is a nasty one. It has not caused any respiratory problems for me as the typical flu virus does. This strain seems to make all your joints ache unbearably. We have been all hit by the virus, the three boys and my wife. It is like we are all on our own. We don't have any close family members out here, which sucks. I hope it doesn't get down to us eating each other..just kidding. I am just happy to be a ache sober man.
This is a happy meal I think will pass on.
Today all the problems on one of my projects just got worse. I just have to laugh about the whole thing, because it's become a comedy of errors. I am damn sure not going to drink about it..
I am so glad to be home. However my back is killing me from the plane seating. 6 1/2 half hours is to long in those shitty seats. Well back on schedule for tomorrow, the boys have 6 games and I hope to god I can make it through all of the six. I saw my mom when I was in florida and she cried when I left. She said she is so proud of me and that makes me feel pretty good.
Change is about doing things differently. When I stopped drinking everything I did previously had to change. I find myself now redirected to my own thing, my own company. I am gearing up to grasp life with a passion based on something I believe in and not what someone else believes in. So I am working on the beginning stages of my company. This effort will take me into December, however I am sure it will be a success as long as I am sober.
Well I have the interview early next week and I must fly to the NY. Everything is starting to move forward and I feel like going backwards. What the hell is that all about. This will be a big move out of my comfort level, so it compounds everything. I am really trying to stay positive.. I have been praying a lot and that isn't a bad thing.
I had fun watching and playing baseball with our neighbors boys. We sat and watched my youngest son practice and then we all went to another field to throw the ball. You could tell how much they missed having a dad.
I am in the isolation stage again in my program. I don't know if it's the lack of hours or the lack of effort. I must keep moving ahead and add another meeting during the week.
What happens to the survivors left behind after an alcoholic has his last drink or an addict his last fix? They move on as best they can and others help raise their kids. While the alcoholic looks down wishing for another chance that won't happen.
I got a call today from a friend, her husband died from drinking about a couple of months ago. She told me that her boys wanted me to teach them how to throw a baseball and wanted to go to the baseball fields with me and my boys. I told her I would be happy to take them starting tomorrow. Her husband never taught them, however it was on his list. I am so sad for her boys.
photo by nick koudis
I went shopping last night for food because we were running low. Now that the boys are getting older the cost of supporting them has increased dramatically. What the hell can you do? I haven't heard a thing about the job, so I assuming nothing is going to happen. oh well..
Let's see daave was right..Hungry: My eating habits almost don't exist. Angry: a little at other people. Lonely: All the time. Tired: Whats not being tired.. Wow, I will start today by eating.. It's easy to forget to look for the signs, but shit I have them all. I think I need a overhaul on my program.
Finally the weekend is here and I can play catch up on my work. I can also catch up to my blog peps. I feel a little stressed with the job thing. I feel it is going south, so oh well. The first football game for my son is tomorrow. I hope he does well or just has fun. The coach is from the barrio so he thinks he is a tough guy. I hope the kids get past his ego and just play the game. Whatever it's out of my hands, for now.
I had a third conversation with a global company that wants to hire me. The position is very good and very prestigious for my industry. I am excited about the potential, however the offer will be sent to me this week. I am sure we will go back and forth until we agree or disagree. Whether I agree to take the job or not, it has been good for my self esteem. I am in this situation because of god and that I did what was asked of me by my sponsor and other's in the program. I never did what I wanted, because that would have been drinking.
Ok, here you go my new chimnea. The party was great except for the wine and rolling rock beer that was at my party. Again 2 bottles of wine and a six pack of rolling rock didn't take me out. Step 1 I am an alcoholic so I can't drink and it is as simple as that. The good part was the fire and I burned a lot of logs. It makes me feel good inside to be around a fire. It reminds me of my grandfather who burned his trash everyday and while on vacation as a child I spent my time around him and the fire.
Isn't that a song, anyways I am feeling good and busting my ass at work. I have kept myself focused on what I need to do in my life. Well almost I need to do some work on the steps again, but with the boys, work and the wife it makes for no time. I need to make time and get moving, because when things are moving too good there has to be something coming up around the corner. Whats around the corner is why I need to prepare. This involves adding a meeting and hitting the big book.
I used cheap labor to do some tile work at my house. The job they did sucked and I had to rip some of the tile out and all of the base boards. I was so pissed off I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I ended up going outside and played catch with my younger son. After I calmed down, I went up stairs, paid them and told them to leave. I have been redoing their work all day and I am exhausted. I have to paint the base boards tonight.
A guy in our home group had a call I never want to take. The highway patrol called him to say that his teenage daughter died in a car crash. She was not wearing her seat belt and was thrown from the car. Also they are going to do a toxicology test. She was driving the car.
I use to start my morning with a variety of pills oxycontin's, allergy, high blood pressure and a occasional vitamin. This was all followed by a 750ml bottle of crown royal. Thank god I don't start my mornings like that anymore.
Life is totally cool being sober, it's like having the best drug out there and it is free. I am feeling sober today.
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