Today I am just a few steps ahead of my next drink. The only reason I am ahead a few steps is because of God and AA. I know what will happen if I slip and that is what I fear today. Part of me know knows that I have a lot of drinks to make up for by being sober for over 1 ½ years. Therefore if I do slip it will be like a child in a candy store with no parent around to stop him. I need to fear that next drink, because I have built back my relationships with my wife and kids and I don’t think they have it left in them to forgive again. Nor do I have the ability to forgive myself again.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Fear
Today I am just a few steps ahead of my next drink. The only reason I am ahead a few steps is because of God and AA. I know what will happen if I slip and that is what I fear today. Part of me know knows that I have a lot of drinks to make up for by being sober for over 1 ½ years. Therefore if I do slip it will be like a child in a candy store with no parent around to stop him. I need to fear that next drink, because I have built back my relationships with my wife and kids and I don’t think they have it left in them to forgive again. Nor do I have the ability to forgive myself again.
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1 comment:
You say that you have a lot of drinks to make up for.
Why not look at it the other way round ...
You have a lot of non-sobriety to make up for.
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