Still Working the 4th

I have been on and working on the 4th, by writing and ripping up. I don't want to feel pain anymore, because I am just tired. I want to deal with it sometimes but other times it feels like its to much. I might be a little dramatic, but aren't we all. The main reason I am working on it faster is that I don't want to feel uncomfortable like I did in Florida. We are thrown in situations sometimes that are dangerous to our sobriety. In these cases you have to reach deep into your pockets to pull out any tokens we might have in order to stay sober. Without doing the steps and attending meetings their are no tokens you can use. Being totally defenseless against the next drink is not where I want to be.