A Dream

Sometimes I feel I have been just dreaming this whole thing about alcoholism. I keep trying to wake myself up and tell myself it was just a dream and everything is ok. This is too unfair to be real. I can't go out after work and have a drink with some friends. On Sundays go over to a friend’s house and watch football and have a couple beers. Sit at the beach and watch a sunset sipping a glass of wine. Has this whole thing been a scam or a joke that I have yet to get? Has this whole program brain washed me into believing a lie? What if I want my life back, can I take it back without some kind of penalty?------ They had a ceremony at the beach for a guy and I didn't go. They paddled out on surfboards and spread his ashes. Maybe I should have gone.