Monday, September 19, 2005

Fuck this

This Dale Carnage class is killing me. Tonight the idiots kicked my ass again. I swear I would prefer torture maybe even decapation instead of this class. I am again at the receiving end of my ass tonight. We had 60 seconds to prepare this 2 min proposal using using this flow chart of the Dale terms. Fuck I thought, as I began writing it out, it seemed that my mind was moving in all directions. Then the dumbass coach ( a person taking the class for the second time there to help) started talking to me about some random thing as the clock ticked. I was about to rip his head off, just then the instructor walked by he noticed my anger. The instuctor asked me how it was going and I said it would be fine if the coach would shut the fuck up. They both looked at me as if I was the asshole. Now I had two additional resentments and I had 20 seconds to finish. My mind just halted, and it felt like being at a factory at the 5:00 p.m. whistle. I was panicing and getting more confused. The stupid coach dared me to do it without a parachute (my notes) and it seemed like a good idea because I didnt have any notes. It was my turn and I butchered it, hell my 6 year old could have done better. I wanted to retreat to my seat but the instuctor made me stay up in the front of the room till I finished. I managed to make a complete fool of myself in front of a class of rejects. I finally finished in bits and pieces and I was so mad , that I wanted to cut these bastards throats. I prayed that this would pass and it did for a while. I feel worse than I did prior to taking the course.

2 comments:

Phil said...

Hang in there, Lash. This, too, WILL pass. Maybe try approaching the class as an entertainment opportunity? Rather than an irritant to overcome? Just a thought.

How's Step 4 going? Rusty said she's working Step 4, I'm sure she can commiserate.

Trudging said...

Public speaking is hard. You ahead of the game just for trying. Well I am off to Win Friends and Influence People.