I knew it was just a matter of time before my wife just would chime in about my mom coming. I am so sick of the attitude like this is my problem my mom is coming out. The whole thing makes me sick, because I never complained when we were at her father's house for New Years, at least not in front of her. The whole time I was there I was thinking that some how this is a punishment or test from god. I looked for any signs, but none were there. I have been "looking at my shoes" (sponsors term) when dealing with my wife now for a year and half. Some days we are making headway others days we are blown of course. It is really hard when sometimes you don't feel like your on the same team. I really think she is trying to irritate me on purpose. Sometimes when she knows I am a little uncomfortable she prods me like I was a farm animal. She isn't an alcoholic and maybe has a drink 6 times a year. Maybe if she was more like me things would be better. No, if she was like me, I would be prodded on a daily basis.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Here We Go
I knew it was just a matter of time before my wife just would chime in about my mom coming. I am so sick of the attitude like this is my problem my mom is coming out. The whole thing makes me sick, because I never complained when we were at her father's house for New Years, at least not in front of her. The whole time I was there I was thinking that some how this is a punishment or test from god. I looked for any signs, but none were there. I have been "looking at my shoes" (sponsors term) when dealing with my wife now for a year and half. Some days we are making headway others days we are blown of course. It is really hard when sometimes you don't feel like your on the same team. I really think she is trying to irritate me on purpose. Sometimes when she knows I am a little uncomfortable she prods me like I was a farm animal. She isn't an alcoholic and maybe has a drink 6 times a year. Maybe if she was more like me things would be better. No, if she was like me, I would be prodded on a daily basis.
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7 comments:
I have had similar problems with my spouse. My sponsor reminds me that this is a family disease. One year of my sobriety can't come close to healing the pain I caused in twenty years of drinking. The family needs time to heal too and it will takes lots and lots of time and patience. Good luck
Have you ever read "The family Afterwards" in the Big Book. It might give you some ideas.
If my partner had been like me, we wouldn't have lasted one day together.
Like Rex said, it is a family disease.Your wife probably has a lot to let go of too, does she have any outside support>?
Sometimes being on the same team
doesn't always feel like fair play.
I hope everything works out okay .
Best Wishes ~
Tab
I can't comment on this one I'm divorced. The ex and I get along better now then when we were married. He is still very active in the drinking and drugging scene. Me - I'm loving everyday of recovery. Hang in there bro.
I see you,
JJ
My partner and I are both in the program. It's interesting getting to know ourselves and each other and using the same "playbook" to do it.
Good luck... one day at a time... go to lots of meetings.
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